Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

A year on, what I would say (and add)

This morning someone ‘liked’ a blog post that I had written last year in June. I had obviously had a lot more time on my hands last year or because we were only just getting used to lockdown and doing nothing when not at work, I didn’t feel so guilty. Clearly I was listening to lots of podcasts and reading lots too. Bliss.

The idea of the post I had written was giving myself advice for one year’s time. A letter to self. It was called ‘In a year I would say’ and most of it still stands.

I would still tell myself to worry less.

I’m yet to decide whether certain attributes I hold are life long or whether there is anything I can do to change them. I will most probably always be a born worrier but if I could weaken the worry a little more it would make my days far less stressful!

Enjoying the moment is still so important.

If the pandemic has done no other good (I’m sure it has) the necessity to seize the moment is a huge lesson to us all. It might be on a walk, shutting out life’s worries and focusing on the birds, the trees and all of nature that surrounds you. Perhaps it is turning your attention over from an anxious feeling to children happily playing over there, a dog enjoying a paddle in a pond, how soft your hair feels after a fresh trim.

Stop trying to change the unchangable.

There are certain things that you can’t control. Other people’s words and actions, the weather, the future, the past – I need to stop trying to.

Always take time for a pamper.

Every six weeks I get my hair cut like many women and men across the world. I have the same conversation with my friend each time saying how I’m not that fussed, my hair can wait. She always follows with the same: “take half an hour out of your day to get your hair cut, you will feel better for it!” She is always right, I always do.

Nothing (rarely) is as bad as it seems in the mind.

I’m going to use a recent example to illustrate this point. Now that things are opening up a little more my social life has been injected with plans. I am also at the age of weddings and hen dos. For three weekends on the trott I have had plans. Most involving more than three hours travel, crowds (or more people than I have associated with in over a year), new places, new people and socialising. All of which I need to get back into practise of. I was surprisingly worried before the first weekend away. I didn’t realise how stressed the thought of it would make me.

Once there I loved it. My worries instantly vanished despite Bournemouth being pretty crowded. I wore my mask where I felt necessary and kept sanitising but apart from those extra precautions I felt perfectly safe. The evening was perfect spent on the beach with games and wine. It showed that things are never as daunting as they seem and it applies for most things in life.

Don’t give up on your dreams.

For me this is writing. I go in waves of loving every aspect to my writing life to not seeing the worth in my efforts or having a really bad time of not getting much down. I’ll then receive a message from someone I have inspired, I may see my book online in a place I wouldn’t expect or a stranger comes into the shop and buys a copy. I soon pipe down and continue, determined never to give up.

Take another minute.

I wrote about this a little while ago on this blog and I feel it is SO important that I am going to write about it again. ALWAYS take another minute. “I don’t have time!” I hear you say. You do. Make time. In bed in the morning take another minute. Go a little further on that walk to take another minute. Sip for longer on your coffee break and take another minute. It is only a minute and you will notice the benefits.

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. You can also find published work in my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is OUT NOW. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey as I self-publish novel number two, then please subscribe to my newsletter by filling in the form at the bottom of any page of my website. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

In case anyone is interested…

In case anyone is interested, I am a little nervous

About the easing of restrictions and the opening of the world again.

In case anyone is interested, I can’t get fully excited

About social events, big events, because there is always the risk looming.

In case anyone is interested, I may still wear a mask

To protect others, to protect me, to feel safer and secure in environments.

Environments we’ve not experienced ‘normally’ in well over a year

In case anyone is interest, I am going to take it steady

With life, in work in all that I do.

In case anyone is interested, I am going to allow

Allow for tiredness, feeling intimidated, overwhelmed, all of those feelings that come with this.

This thing we are living through that nobody quite understands

In case anyone is interested, I get it

I get why the government feel there is no other option, why now is time.

At some point we have to move on, to continue, to live with it

In case anyone is interested, I find writing therapeutic

So much creativity will come out of these times, some bad some good.

In case anyone is interested, I will always remember

These times, those lost, key workers, inspirations along the way.

If you’re not interested, that’s fine. Move on.

If you are please stay, I have lots to say!

(blogging weekly, Instagramming even more)

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. You can also find published work in my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is OUT NOW. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey as I self-publish novel number two, then please subscribe to my newsletter by filling in the form at the bottom of any page of my website. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Recommendations Review

Quite by Claudia Winkleman

Quite. A word that implies negativity. Not quite good enough. Sort of. Alright. But Claudia Winkleman turns that around in her fabulous non-fiction account. She puts quite as the level of expectation we should have for our lives. For our days, our experiences – everything.

Put it this way. You go out for the day. It’s a bank holiday. The sun is shining and you’ve got the next day off. Inside your mind you might picture the perfect lunch overlooking the river. Endless supplies of alcohol, the sun beaming down on your face as you enjoy every last sip. Then onto the next place.

Well. The lunch is crowded, the sun is too hot, the bevergages are bloating, everywhere is packed, things cost money. In fact the day is never perfect. But it mostly quite good.

If you went with that expectation, it leaves room for perfection, but if perfection never happens then your day was still a good day. This is what Claudia is getting at.

So many gems inside this novel I found myself noting down. The final line is one of the best ‘We’re here for five minutes: enjoy the view’ Words to live by each moment at a time.

Well worth a read. An honest account of life. It makes you feel good. It leaves you with a different outlook. And it boosts you to think you’re actually doing alright. And that alright is good enough.

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. You can also find published work in my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is OUT NOW. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey as I self-publish novel number two, then please subscribe to my newsletter by filling in the form at the bottom of any page of my website. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood fiction Non-fiction Writing

A lockdown anthology: Simplicity

When this is all over I will appreciate more. A trip to town, a mini-break at the beach, a hug, a social gathering, dinner with those you see the most, and dinner with those you see the least. I will certainly notice nature, let it bring happiness whenever I need it. The natural and pure. Children and mothers, wildlife, trees, grasses blowing in summer breeze, colours of lavender fields and smells of pollen.

I will enjoy sleep because I now know what it is to be deprived of it. Whenever I feel on top form and full of energy I will give thanks, for so long I have been run down during lockdown. Clear skin showing my radiance as opposed to spotty stress. A spring in my step and a smile on my face rather than clumping along with a frown.

Never again will I moan about slowness under pressure while waiting in queues. Instead I will understand the meaning of pressure and give the staff a break. I’ll try not to worry about money. I’ll endeavour to be kind.

When this is all over I will appreciate freedom we can so easily be denied. Lockdown 2020 – back to basics, simplicity and a love for life.

Published in the lockdown anthology: When This Is All Over edited by Jan Moran Neil and Adrian Spalding

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. You can also find published work in my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is OUT NOW. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey as I self-publish novel number two, then please subscribe to my newsletter by filling in the form at the bottom of any page of my website. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

‘It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see’ – Henry David Thoreau

A quote to live by. Quoted in a book that should live by your bedside. Midnight Library by Matt Haig.

It makes you think, doesn’t it?

So often in life we see things differently to how other people see them. Things, words, situations can all be interpreted in various ways and it is important to establish this.

There has been so many times in my own life when I have thought something or taken what someone has said a certain way and not until I openly spoke with them about it did I realise that I had got it entirely wrong.

Or I’ve seen something as totally negative and the end of the world then on speaking with someone about it, they flip the entire thing on its head to make it totally positive and brilliant. Not the huge disaster I had it down as.

The picture above is of the sea and one of my favourite places to be. This is for many reasons but one main one is that being by the sea forces perspective on me. If I’m stood looking out into the ocean I can feel how tiny me and my problems are within this big beautiful world. It pushes me to look at things a different way. Flip them on their head.

Perspective is beautiful.

We all need to remind ourselves of it, ground ourselves with it and remember the quote above.

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is OUT NOW. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey as I self-publish novel number two, then please subscribe to my newsletter by filling in the form at the bottom of any page of my website. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction

A line a day during a pandemic

Written on July 5th 2020

I’ve not written in here since May 24th and I’m surprised I lasted that long to be honest. Each day has been a repeat of the one before and I am exhausted with it all quite frankly. The news is just so depressing. I have found a good series – This is Us – which we watch each night and Kaf and I are loving (Mike not so much!) also my 200-word piece got accepted in a lockdown anthology. Good books keep me going at weekends. I saw my first woodpecker the other night. It was beautiful. It’s not all bad.

Note to self and all of you – there’s always beauty, good, light, even in the middle of a global pandemic.

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is OUT NOW. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey as I self-publish novel number two, then please subscribe to my newsletter by filling in the form at the bottom of any page of my website. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

A global pandemic and a trip to the dentist

Like many others, I hadn’t been to the dentist for well over a year. In fact, when I asked my dentist on arrival into the room when I was last seen she told me it was November 2019.

I paused a moment to consider all that had happened in the time between visits. My gosh. A global pandemic. Nature taking over as the world stops. Numerous lockdowns. Restrictions on our lives that still remain. Mask wearing. No hugging. Lots of wine consumption. Relentless working. No holidays. The same news on repeat.

I was sure to have many cavities.

I didn’t expect to be so anxious about my first visit to the dentist. However, on the drive there which is about forty minutes, I tried to soften my anxiety with a podcast. I was in fact quite worried.

I’d read on the email the procedure to expect which wasn’t much different from going to a supermarket. Wear a mask at all times, except from when they are examining you, obviously. Take your own pen to sign. Sit away from others in the waiting room. They might take your temperature.

Well, that started a hole heap of worries.

What if I appear hot because I am running late and then I have to get tested and realise I actually have COVID-19? What if they find something horrendously wrong inside my mouth because I haven’t been seen for so long? In fact I think I can feel a root canal is needed at the back. Yep, definitely.

None of this was true of course and, by some miracle, I had no holes. The whole procedure was smooth and I couldn’t fault the surgery at all. They made me feel very comfortable, extremely safe and I was smug that I hadn’t got to go back for any work. It would have been a long wait if I needed anything done.

Until next time. I wonder what will happen in this crazy world between now and then. I wonder if I will be thinking the same as I sit in that chair next year.

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. You can also find published work in my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is available on Amazon along with the sequel Don’t Tell Jack. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey, then please subscribe to my newsletter by dropping your name and email. There will be plenty of giveaways, news hot off the press and an honest insight into life as an author. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Stories

The People’s Postcode Lottery got me two more books!

I work at a place that demonstrates the uniqueness of people. Sometimes we have problems to solve, but mostly days are spent chatting to lovely people who come along to our shop and Post Office for varying reasons. I think lots of the time recently, particularly among the elderly, the trip is the first time they’ve left the house in a year!

Either way I feel our conversations help in some way.

The other day a lady I hadn’t seen in a long time came to me in the Post Office. It sounded like she’d had an eventful year. We chatted and I felt the sigh of relief lift off her to be chatting to someone in person. No screens besides that of the Post Office sorting her banking out. Her family live at the other end of the country so it’s been virtual contact for too long, she was saying.

Anyway she was telling me about one lucky aspect to her recent days in that she’d won on the People’s Postcode Lottery three times. £10 each time, but a win is a win. Not bad as luck goes. The latest win was for a book. She doesn’t read anymore so she gave me her prize.

How lovely. How kind.

Thanks to this lady, her luck, her generosity and her desire to have a real chat with a real person, I am now the happy owner of A Keeper by Graham Norton and I Owe You One by Sophie Kinsella. Yeah I found the two for one deal!

I will be posting reviews in due course.

There are good people in this world.

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is OUT NOW. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey as I self-publish novel number two, then please subscribe to my newsletter by filling in the form at the bottom of any page of my website. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

Take another minute, always

One of my bugbears is always being in a rush. Or, more accurately, trying to cram so much into the little time I have that I end up running about trying to fit it all in. Stressing.

Take this morning for example. I start work at 10. I woke at 7:30. In the time between I have fit in:

  • a twenty minute workout
  • breakfast
  • a shower
  • 4 blog posts
  • feeding the cats, the dog and the birds
  • filling in the work health and safety sheet

All done in a panic because I am constantly against the ticking of the clock.

Why do I do it?!

Though I do feel good when it’s done.

The other week I was at the caravan. My favourite place. I had given myself an extra night there which is always lovely and aimed to leave at around 10:30 in the morning to get back in time for work. To get back in time for work with a little bit of time at the other end of the journey to casually bring my bags in, put a wash on and ensure the dog has a pee.

STOP!

Of course my mind went into timetable mode and I had allowed myself until 9:20.a.m. (pretty generous if you ask me). That’s right, I’d allowed myself free time to read in bed, chill, walk on the beach and enjoy the last morning before tidying up and leaving.

9:20 soon came around and I had about twenty pages left of my book that I was loving.

Do you know what I did? I took another minute. And you should too, always.

It felt amazing just to say: “sod it I will finish my book, what’s the worst that could happen?” I doubt I’d be late for work. I felt good after having finished the book. That feeling is wonderful and so much more wonderful than shutting the covers with twenty pages left to go.

I wasn’t going overboard. It wasn’t another day or even hour I was giving myself. Just a minute. A short period of time that left me feeling so smug and so fabulous.

Just one minute, always.

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is OUT NOW 

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction

Music through the decades

There’s this thing that I do most nights and it began in early 2020. That thing is drink. Wine mostly, sometimes beer but usually it involves alcohol.

As the weeks close and another Sunday is ready to be enjoyed I release a little on a Saturday evening and find myself getting drunker quicker. It’s lovely. I think it’s because the weight of the working week lifts and the excitement for a lie in begins to build.

Two magnesium tablets, a bucket full of red and I felt ready for bed the other week when I started doing this other thing. As I went to brush my teeth I put random songs on Spotify. I had overplayed the current tracks throughout the week that I wanted to take it back down memory lane. And back I went.

2016…

2013…

2009…

2007… I had totally forgotten about Nizlopi JCB! Tune!

I was loving life, smiling at memories and enjoying hearing songs I had totally forgotten about. I think it wasn’t until two hours later that I finished brushing my teeth!

Now if ever I can’t decide what to listen to, which is happening frequently, I do this. Music through the decades, try it. It’s fun!

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. You can also find published work in my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is OUT NOW. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey as I self-publish novel number two, then please subscribe to my newsletter by filling in the form at the bottom of any page of my website. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting