Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

In case anyone is interested…

In case anyone is interested, I am a little nervous

About the easing of restrictions and the opening of the world again.

In case anyone is interested, I can’t get fully excited

About social events, big events, because there is always the risk looming.

In case anyone is interested, I may still wear a mask

To protect others, to protect me, to feel safer and secure in environments.

Environments we’ve not experienced ‘normally’ in well over a year

In case anyone is interest, I am going to take it steady

With life, in work in all that I do.

In case anyone is interested, I am going to allow

Allow for tiredness, feeling intimidated, overwhelmed, all of those feelings that come with this.

This thing we are living through that nobody quite understands

In case anyone is interested, I get it

I get why the government feel there is no other option, why now is time.

At some point we have to move on, to continue, to live with it

In case anyone is interested, I find writing therapeutic

So much creativity will come out of these times, some bad some good.

In case anyone is interested, I will always remember

These times, those lost, key workers, inspirations along the way.

If you’re not interested, that’s fine. Move on.

If you are please stay, I have lots to say!

(blogging weekly, Instagramming even more)

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. You can also find published work in my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is OUT NOW. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey as I self-publish novel number two, then please subscribe to my newsletter by filling in the form at the bottom of any page of my website. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations Writing

My writing and me

I write for all sorts of reasons.

It might be to get something off my chest; to keep a record of my days; to entertain others; to remember what I need to buy from the supermarket; an idea that turns into a short story and everything in between. Writing is everywhere for me and a very useful tool in so many ways.

I was writing my diary earlier and loved the fact that my words weren’t going to be published anywhere. They weren’t for social media, nor were they to be put in a novel or a blog post. Instead they were just for me. Not that my diary entries are ever secretive, or very interesting for that matter, I just felt free in the fact that my words were for me.

On the flip side of that I love to write for others.

I get a buzz out of people engaging with my posts. I love to hear that I’ve phrased something how someone wanted to put it but couldn’t find the words. Often I feel proud or happy when I read back on a particular blog post that has gained more feedback than usual. There are even some lines in my novel that I can’t believe I wrote!

I always think long and hard about text messages. I find myself on walks feeling appreciative of friends. Then I write a message to put in a card or a text. People always need to know how valued they are and I love to tell them. Sometimes friends thank me for advice and I wonder if I was right in saying what I did. I usually think that the person seeking advice knew already they just liked how I phrased it.

I’ve written a lot of articles lately about the same thing and have welcomed the positive feedback. Articles, of course, referring to my debut novel and I don’t shut up about it! Some readers have said how my writing shows my passion or that it gripped them from the beginning and throughout.

I love and enjoy writing from others as well. Each year I keep cards from my birthday with particularly lovely messages or important notes inside. I have a friend who writes the most lovely labels on birthday presents (from the dogs) and I keep them all. Often I find myself screenshotting words on social media that I think people have put so brilliantly.

I read, LOTS.

Basically I love words. That folks is my writing and me.

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is OUT NOW 🙂

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Writing

One of those days

At the time of thinking about this blog post idea I was having one of those days. You know the kind. Behind before you’ve even started. Don’t know how you’ll fit everything in.

Since then my one of those days has turned into one of those weeks. Months even. Hence the lack of blog posts in March.

The nature of my job results in there being very rarely any spare time. Therefore when I’m asked, which I am fairly often, how I fit in my writing on top I struggle to understand it myself. I sort of finish a novel and think how did that happen? Obviously there is pressure and stress that comes with it but once I have the full manuscript written I think wow, I’m not too sure how that happened. It just does.

The trouble is that once the manuscript is complete and even published, the work doesn’t stop there. No, people need to know about your novel else how are they going to buy it?! That is where extra work comes in the form of social media posts, blogs, newspaper and magazine articles and everything in between.

This day was one of those days.

I was working until close but had been asked to write an article. My close is 5:30pm. The deadline for the article was 6pm. Latest.

EEK.

As usual my mind was going mad with ideas and my notes app on my phone were getting well used. This is the norm. Even after a random conversation I might get an idea for a blog post or even a novel and have to note it down before I forget. This becomes slightly difficult when I’ve had a few glasses of wine and I have to translate my badly spelled sentences.

Anyway.

Among serving customers and generally doing everything that work entails in a day that is too short (every day is too short) I came up with the bones of an article. I think we finished with about ten minutes to spare so I opened my laptop and typed faster than ever before.

Thank God for spell check.

All blog posts can be found at https://www.harrietmills.co.uk/ and to read my published work visit my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is out now.

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

As good as it gets – the supermarket

We are all very used to the idea of a trip to the supermarket being as good as it gets. Especially for the past few months it has been about all we have been legitimately allowed to do. No longer do conversations go:

“How was your week off?”

“Great, we went to Spain. It was fab.”

Instead they are more like:

“What have you been up to?”

“Quite a lot actually, I went to B&M followed by Tesco. I might pop into Sainsbury’s later.”

I know my weekly trip out of my village mostly involves a supermarket visit, collecting bits for elderly customers that we don’t sell at the shop, gathering my weekly supply of wine, seeing what other unhealthy snacks I can add to my growing stock. I’ll never lose those lockdown pounds!

It’s thrilling.

I remember in lockdown number one a year ago I went out to the supermarket for the first time after five weeks of not leaving my village. My days were just work, wine, sleep and repeat. My car somehow started which goes against all of the problems I have had with the battery since and off I went down the road. It felt so peculiar driving, leaving the village and then going in the supermarket for the first time with COVID restrictions.

Before this trip I’d never experienced queuing to get in, only entering on a green light and sanitising my hands, keys, phone and trolley before setting foot through the door. Now it is all so familiar.

However, the other day I drove to a supermarket slightly further away so that my car got a bit more of a run (battery lockdown problems) and I felt flat about going to the supermarket.

The trip that for so long has been a release. That which has been headspace away from work. A task that isn’t that difficult. No major thinking is required yet I felt flat, unwilling and totally couldn’t be bothered to trudge around yet another selection of aisles getting the same old goods and abiding by all the extra rules.

It felt difficult. I was lost. My mind was freaking out about the check tyre pressure sign coming up on my car when usually I’d just register it and carry on. It felt like the biggest problem. For a second I hated this way of living.

Mostly I’m of the opinion that everyone is in the same boat and we’re all in it together. You know, all of Bojo’s slogans in one. But on this day I felt a hint of frustration and anger. Pointless but true. I think it got on top of me and then I couldn’t find the Kievs!

So that’s my story of a recent mini meltdown. I’m writing it to you all for no other reason that to connect with others who have also experienced temporary inner screaming matches relating to this pandemic. Sometimes you just have to let it go…

All blog posts can be found at https://www.harrietmills.co.uk/ and to read my published work visit my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is out now.

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations Writing

My Editing Process

When thinking up material to put on my blog, I always think about what I would love to read as an aspiring writer. Some may find my advice incredibly boring. For some it might not work or it could be the complete opposite to what others do but this is me and this is how I edit.

So, I have 65,000+ words on a page.

I know that this has to increase. I also know that some bits must be cut in order for the end product to be of my best ability.

Firstly, I set myself a goal. I put the pressure on. This goal is therefore usually unrealistic but I make myself slightly stressed out in order to edit at my best. For example, I have just finished my second novel and I am well into the editing process on that. My end goal is the end of this month which was initially the end of last year so that the pressure remains.

Next I read through chapter by chapter and as much as if I were reading it as a novel as I possibly can. This is done on my laptop. I make changes as I go. I note down ideas on a separate document to look at later regarding the piece as a whole. This might be to check that a certain character is consistently a girl or to ensure that the timeline of events works.

Once I have completed the first read through, I turn to the trusty editor button on Microsoft Word and I complete all amendments there if I agree.

I then print it out. Bind it.

Having it nicely presented somehow helps and it also makes for a good keepsake in the future when I reminisce about past works. This is partly for my own satisfaction, but partly because I find that my brain works in an entirely different way when it reads something printed as opposed to on the screen of a laptop. It also makes for a nice and easy presented version to give to proofreaders.

I send to any proofreaders that I have in mind and keep one copy for myself to read. I read again on paper, marking in pen any changes and again filling in my notes doc on the computer.

Next I take back any proofreader copies as well as my newly changed hardcopy and make all changes.

Finally I go over my notes doc and complete all task there.

Then it goes off to the publishers.

That’s it. That is how I edit. In case you were wondering. Apologies if you weren’t!

Happy Friday all.

All blog posts can be found at https://www.harrietmills.co.uk/ and to read my published work visit my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is out now.

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

I never would have imagined

I never would have imagined a year with no contact. No hugs, no emotion, barely any guests at funerals and weddings.

I never would have imagined a year with no holidays. No travel within your own country let alone outside.

I never would have imagined a year with lots of closures. Barely going to the pub at all, no drunken memories or nights that carry on and on.

I never would have imagined a year being surrounded by it. On the news, Saturday night tv shows, in general conversation – everywhere.

We can look at it and think what is missing, what have we lost, see all that is wrong.

Or we can notice what we have gained, build up hope to continue on…

An appreciation for living in the very moment, zero planning.

Amazement at human adaptation, how everyone, almost everyone has found new ways, new avenues.

Strength in carrying on. Hope in the future.

True gratitude for the front line fighters, the NHS staff and essential workers.

‘2020 wasn’t all so bad,’ I’ve seen in many a status today,

Entering 2021 steadily and carefully because the virus hasn’t gone away.

Yet in 2020 we learnt about finding the rainbows in the storm,

We can enter the new year with this mindset, approach everything in this form.

Happy New Year’s Day, I really think, sometime soon, it will all be ok.

All blog posts can be found at https://www.harrietmills.co.uk/ and to read my published work visit my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is out now.

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations Writing

My Perfect Writing Day

On my own terms. Preferably a day off from my day job. Waking up on my own accord and consuming two lovely hot beverages; be it tea or coffee, equally lovely, before doing anything else. I would usually begin with reading something entirely unrelated to whatever it is I plan to write. For at least one hour. It gets the creative juices flowing. I then need to change. Even if it’s not a shower-and-get-ready-for-the-day type change, I just need to change. It puts me mentally in the right head space. Next I must walk or inhale some form of fresh air, ideally by the sea. Set up. A desk like setup but not necessarily a desk. A kitchen table, an upright chair and table, I’ve even been known to work at a kitchen breakfast bar and work well. Now I’m ready to begin. Write write write. Until the creativity fades. I often find it useful to have blog post ideas to flit back and forth to. For some reason mixing up what I’m writing so that my mind isn’t solely focused on one project really helps to keep the creativity alive. If my focus is fading after three chapters of novel writing, writing a short blog post or piece for something entirely unrelated helps to recharge the batteries. I don’t know why.

That’s how I do it, that’s my perfect writing day.

Categories
fiction Stories Writing

My Publishing Journey: The Second Proof in lock down

It’s sunny, the birds are singing, The Beatles are playing Here Comes The Sun aloud into my garden via Alexa and it’s all very lovely. My dog has just brought me his brussel sprout toy to throw him and I’m wondering why I even look at other toys for him because sprout will always be best.

I’ve just had to dust my laptop to see the screen. No idea why this was the case as it’s been well used over the past week or so since I received my second proof via email.

Lock down life, as you’ll know if you’re a regular reader of mine, has been nothing short of frantic. Work has taken over and my writing has been pushed aside a little apart from the days where inspiration won’t allow me to escape writing it down.

This is why on receipt of the second proof of my manuscript I screamed a little inside with panic as to how I was ever going to complete a full read through.

My publishers have told me that this could well be the final proof before my book goes to print which is both alarming and extremely exciting. For this reason I must get it right.

So far so good in that the only edit I have made is a missing ‘he’ early on (much like my own life) and a slight structural change to the whole thing, but nothing major. Just an idea that came to me this time around and one which I think will improve the overall read. Quite good for almost half way in, I say!

I must admit that it was beginning to get to me the lack of time I was putting into my writing lately. All of my customers at work kept asking how it was going and I would repeat myself, losing a little optimism each time.

The excitment that came from the proof has turned these conversations around and I’m now discussing my passion for writing with those who didn’t know I was a writer and hypothetically planning my launch party with those who did (a bit premature I know).

My advice to anyone losing their mojo with any passion during these difficult times would be to stick at it. Make time for it. Talk about it. Don’t lose faith.

I am now highly enthusiastic and cannot wait to approve my proof to move onto the next stage of the publishing process.

I may even have a release date for you all soon! Watch this space…

Categories
fiction Stories Writing

a lock down novel: 7

(a snippet of)

Chapter 7, Mary

Days have merged into weeks when I have felt permanently exhausted, entirely drained. I have felt fidgety as if I want to get outside and do things but the thought of physically acting upon that drives me crazier still, so I have mostly remained here in my room.

The shaking sensation in my hands have been beyond my control and I can hardly hold the pen that I am writing with now which is nothing on what they have been some days.

My skin is itchy and I have a huge rash over my face and arms which has always been a sign of a breakdown. I have blotchy patches all over and scabs from where I have picked in a panic or worry until blood drips onto the off-white carpet. At least that’s the cleaner’s problem. It is a silly colour choice for a place of this sort anyway.

My hair is beginning to fall out too which is what happened last year when all of this started, well, sort of when it started.

My legs ache. My clothes are hanging off me because I haven’t eaten for what must be days if not a whole week now. I can’t remember. My memory is going too which is scary because a lot of the time that is all I have to hold on to. Memories. How precious they are.

I spent some time earlier (I think it was today) looking through old photos that they allowed me to have in here. Some were of Erin and Jack so young I could cup them in my hands, like tiny puppies not ready to leave their mum yet. Some were of them only a few months back which makes me so proud to look at. To look at how they have grown into such fantastic humans with little help from me. Though I have a bit of pride to take for it I guess, I wasn’t always completely absent.

The children have hardly wanted to visit. I think the few times that they have appeared has been out of forceful bribery by Eileen. Perhaps a promise of McDonalds on the way home or a trip to the cinema to see the latest release.

What a good aunt she still is. No matter what we throw at her she keeps a strong frame within herself to hold everything together and keep those children onto a path of success and independence for which I will always be grateful.

Categories
fiction Stories Writing

A LOCK DOWN NOVEL: 4

(a snippet of)

Chapter 4 Erin

Of course, I worried a little initially about the horror stories I had heard. The trolls, the glamorous accounts of false lives to make me feel awful about my own, the mass of uneducated opinions, the dangerously fast addiction and everything else in between, but I never thought much about it all. Besides being sixteen in 2019 meant that I had a firm grasp of what lay before me and I felt strong enough to cope with life on social media.

At the beginning I tried to remain strong anyway. It was more to prove a point to my mum but a fraction of it was fear of the inevitable. I could feel instantly the addiction looming. After two days of having access to the virtual social world, my phone was the first thing I went to pick up in the morning and the last thing that I put down at night. I spent hours scrolling and still do, but I don’t know why because after doing so I have never gained anything more or lost anything, my life remains exactly as it was.

On days when I feel bad about my own image, Instagram strengthens this sad emotion when I witness the accounts not of celebrities but of my own friends looking like celebrities. Their accounts fill my newsfeed with perfection and no flaws. The perfect brunch, the most exotic holiday venues, the prettiest new haircuts that look better than I looked that time when I had my hair and all my makeup done by a professional for a family wedding back in Ireland.

At the weekend I see friends and acquaintances out having fun. I always think to myself how they are doing the things that I should be doing when I am visiting Mummy or at work. Friends who have gone to places without even asking me so of course I feel totally left out and forgotten. Acquaintances who I don’t even care about doing things that make my Saturday night look so boring and suddenly I am deeply involved with care for the comparison.

On a more distant level, I see opinions all the time that I completely disagree with or that make me so angry that I can feel my face going red. I see people being horrible openly in their statuses or indirect Tweets and I laugh a little inside in agreement, but never would I say it to their face. I don’t wish to be involved with that kind of negative behavior, but it is too easy to get sucked in.