Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

A year on, what I would say (and add)

This morning someone ‘liked’ a blog post that I had written last year in June. I had obviously had a lot more time on my hands last year or because we were only just getting used to lockdown and doing nothing when not at work, I didn’t feel so guilty. Clearly I was listening to lots of podcasts and reading lots too. Bliss.

The idea of the post I had written was giving myself advice for one year’s time. A letter to self. It was called ‘In a year I would say’ and most of it still stands.

I would still tell myself to worry less.

I’m yet to decide whether certain attributes I hold are life long or whether there is anything I can do to change them. I will most probably always be a born worrier but if I could weaken the worry a little more it would make my days far less stressful!

Enjoying the moment is still so important.

If the pandemic has done no other good (I’m sure it has) the necessity to seize the moment is a huge lesson to us all. It might be on a walk, shutting out life’s worries and focusing on the birds, the trees and all of nature that surrounds you. Perhaps it is turning your attention over from an anxious feeling to children happily playing over there, a dog enjoying a paddle in a pond, how soft your hair feels after a fresh trim.

Stop trying to change the unchangable.

There are certain things that you can’t control. Other people’s words and actions, the weather, the future, the past – I need to stop trying to.

Always take time for a pamper.

Every six weeks I get my hair cut like many women and men across the world. I have the same conversation with my friend each time saying how I’m not that fussed, my hair can wait. She always follows with the same: “take half an hour out of your day to get your hair cut, you will feel better for it!” She is always right, I always do.

Nothing (rarely) is as bad as it seems in the mind.

I’m going to use a recent example to illustrate this point. Now that things are opening up a little more my social life has been injected with plans. I am also at the age of weddings and hen dos. For three weekends on the trott I have had plans. Most involving more than three hours travel, crowds (or more people than I have associated with in over a year), new places, new people and socialising. All of which I need to get back into practise of. I was surprisingly worried before the first weekend away. I didn’t realise how stressed the thought of it would make me.

Once there I loved it. My worries instantly vanished despite Bournemouth being pretty crowded. I wore my mask where I felt necessary and kept sanitising but apart from those extra precautions I felt perfectly safe. The evening was perfect spent on the beach with games and wine. It showed that things are never as daunting as they seem and it applies for most things in life.

Don’t give up on your dreams.

For me this is writing. I go in waves of loving every aspect to my writing life to not seeing the worth in my efforts or having a really bad time of not getting much down. I’ll then receive a message from someone I have inspired, I may see my book online in a place I wouldn’t expect or a stranger comes into the shop and buys a copy. I soon pipe down and continue, determined never to give up.

Take another minute.

I wrote about this a little while ago on this blog and I feel it is SO important that I am going to write about it again. ALWAYS take another minute. “I don’t have time!” I hear you say. You do. Make time. In bed in the morning take another minute. Go a little further on that walk to take another minute. Sip for longer on your coffee break and take another minute. It is only a minute and you will notice the benefits.

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. You can also find published work in my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is OUT NOW. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey as I self-publish novel number two, then please subscribe to my newsletter by filling in the form at the bottom of any page of my website. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

In case anyone is interested…

In case anyone is interested, I am a little nervous

About the easing of restrictions and the opening of the world again.

In case anyone is interested, I can’t get fully excited

About social events, big events, because there is always the risk looming.

In case anyone is interested, I may still wear a mask

To protect others, to protect me, to feel safer and secure in environments.

Environments we’ve not experienced ‘normally’ in well over a year

In case anyone is interest, I am going to take it steady

With life, in work in all that I do.

In case anyone is interested, I am going to allow

Allow for tiredness, feeling intimidated, overwhelmed, all of those feelings that come with this.

This thing we are living through that nobody quite understands

In case anyone is interested, I get it

I get why the government feel there is no other option, why now is time.

At some point we have to move on, to continue, to live with it

In case anyone is interested, I find writing therapeutic

So much creativity will come out of these times, some bad some good.

In case anyone is interested, I will always remember

These times, those lost, key workers, inspirations along the way.

If you’re not interested, that’s fine. Move on.

If you are please stay, I have lots to say!

(blogging weekly, Instagramming even more)

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. You can also find published work in my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is OUT NOW. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey as I self-publish novel number two, then please subscribe to my newsletter by filling in the form at the bottom of any page of my website. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

‘It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see’ – Henry David Thoreau

A quote to live by. Quoted in a book that should live by your bedside. Midnight Library by Matt Haig.

It makes you think, doesn’t it?

So often in life we see things differently to how other people see them. Things, words, situations can all be interpreted in various ways and it is important to establish this.

There has been so many times in my own life when I have thought something or taken what someone has said a certain way and not until I openly spoke with them about it did I realise that I had got it entirely wrong.

Or I’ve seen something as totally negative and the end of the world then on speaking with someone about it, they flip the entire thing on its head to make it totally positive and brilliant. Not the huge disaster I had it down as.

The picture above is of the sea and one of my favourite places to be. This is for many reasons but one main one is that being by the sea forces perspective on me. If I’m stood looking out into the ocean I can feel how tiny me and my problems are within this big beautiful world. It pushes me to look at things a different way. Flip them on their head.

Perspective is beautiful.

We all need to remind ourselves of it, ground ourselves with it and remember the quote above.

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is OUT NOW. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey as I self-publish novel number two, then please subscribe to my newsletter by filling in the form at the bottom of any page of my website. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction

A line a day during a pandemic

Written on July 5th 2020

I’ve not written in here since May 24th and I’m surprised I lasted that long to be honest. Each day has been a repeat of the one before and I am exhausted with it all quite frankly. The news is just so depressing. I have found a good series – This is Us – which we watch each night and Kaf and I are loving (Mike not so much!) also my 200-word piece got accepted in a lockdown anthology. Good books keep me going at weekends. I saw my first woodpecker the other night. It was beautiful. It’s not all bad.

Note to self and all of you – there’s always beauty, good, light, even in the middle of a global pandemic.

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is OUT NOW. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey as I self-publish novel number two, then please subscribe to my newsletter by filling in the form at the bottom of any page of my website. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Stories

The People’s Postcode Lottery got me two more books!

I work at a place that demonstrates the uniqueness of people. Sometimes we have problems to solve, but mostly days are spent chatting to lovely people who come along to our shop and Post Office for varying reasons. I think lots of the time recently, particularly among the elderly, the trip is the first time they’ve left the house in a year!

Either way I feel our conversations help in some way.

The other day a lady I hadn’t seen in a long time came to me in the Post Office. It sounded like she’d had an eventful year. We chatted and I felt the sigh of relief lift off her to be chatting to someone in person. No screens besides that of the Post Office sorting her banking out. Her family live at the other end of the country so it’s been virtual contact for too long, she was saying.

Anyway she was telling me about one lucky aspect to her recent days in that she’d won on the People’s Postcode Lottery three times. £10 each time, but a win is a win. Not bad as luck goes. The latest win was for a book. She doesn’t read anymore so she gave me her prize.

How lovely. How kind.

Thanks to this lady, her luck, her generosity and her desire to have a real chat with a real person, I am now the happy owner of A Keeper by Graham Norton and I Owe You One by Sophie Kinsella. Yeah I found the two for one deal!

I will be posting reviews in due course.

There are good people in this world.

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is OUT NOW. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey as I self-publish novel number two, then please subscribe to my newsletter by filling in the form at the bottom of any page of my website. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction

Music through the decades

There’s this thing that I do most nights and it began in early 2020. That thing is drink. Wine mostly, sometimes beer but usually it involves alcohol.

As the weeks close and another Sunday is ready to be enjoyed I release a little on a Saturday evening and find myself getting drunker quicker. It’s lovely. I think it’s because the weight of the working week lifts and the excitement for a lie in begins to build.

Two magnesium tablets, a bucket full of red and I felt ready for bed the other week when I started doing this other thing. As I went to brush my teeth I put random songs on Spotify. I had overplayed the current tracks throughout the week that I wanted to take it back down memory lane. And back I went.

2016…

2013…

2009…

2007… I had totally forgotten about Nizlopi JCB! Tune!

I was loving life, smiling at memories and enjoying hearing songs I had totally forgotten about. I think it wasn’t until two hours later that I finished brushing my teeth!

Now if ever I can’t decide what to listen to, which is happening frequently, I do this. Music through the decades, try it. It’s fun!

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. You can also find published work in my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is OUT NOW. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey as I self-publish novel number two, then please subscribe to my newsletter by filling in the form at the bottom of any page of my website. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

If the dilemma is other’s opinions, it’s not your dilemma

After four long months I have finally spent a weekend at the beach – yipee! Oh how I loved it. I’ve written about this magical place before and each time I visit, I grow to love it more. The peaceful feeling, the space, freedom, chilled vibes, everything that makes life great.

From the moment I turn on my ignition in my car, I smile from within every time I go to this place. The journey is part of the bliss and I treasure every second. Sometimes I choose to listen to my favourite music, sometimes I let Spotify choose and other times it’s podcasts or a chat show that I am feeling more. This time I chose podcasts – On Wednesday’s We Drink Wine. Check it out.

The podcast is very new to the mix and is hosted by Made In Chelsea stars Sophie Habboo and Melissa Tattum. The girls basically chat and drink wine. It does what it says on the tin and because they are the same age as me and love wine as much as me, I knew I could relate. I wasn’t wrong.

As they go they have certain features that will appear in each episode and one of these features is a dilemma section. During this they each pick a dilemma that a listener has sent in. Mostly these are relationship related because, let’s face it, that’s what’s on many 26 year old/ humans minds often and they respond with their opinions on the situation. I agreed with most. It was easy listening.

Then it struck me.

Do I have a dilemma?

I’m 26 years old and haven’t experienced many of these struggles faced. Boyfriends wanting open relationships, not posting me on social media, feeling so jealous that I could kill and so on.

Is that my dilemma? Should I ask them about it?

Then I stopped and asked myself if I am happy. The answer is yes. I then went further and asked how I would put it to them. Every time I tried to phrase it, the dilemma part of the situation was all down to other people’s opinions. Because people might find me weird; because it isn’t normal to be single for so long; because guys may question my motive if I were to find someone I felt I wanted to be in a long-term relationship with; because I won’t have anything to bring to the table when girl friends moan about their fellas. Blah. Blah. Blah.

Am I happy? Yes. Is this my dilemma? No.

If the problem becomes a problem purely based on other people’s opinions and when you remove that factor it is no longer a problem, then it was never YOUR problem in the first place.

FACT. IMO of course 😉

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is OUT NOW!!

https://linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Special moments Writing

My Publishing Journey: My book in my hands!!

Publishing is a strange process. It begins with hours of work, a never ending task of finishing the book. Sometimes it’s enjoyable, sometimes painful.

Then editing begins and it honestly feels like that takes decades to complete. There are a lot of very quiet periods spent waiting on the next draft to come through, followed by extremely busy and excitable periods in looking over said draft to send back.

I’m like a kid with it all – so excited and restless!

Each time I recieve an email my heart races. Even during this initial marketing stage, I have found myself replying so fast to each email almost choking on my words to get my questions sent off before the person on the other end has read back over what they have sent.

Yesterday was a brilliant day!

As the world is in a dire state of affairs with the global pandemic and the US election and while all you hear about is doom and gloom, I was glad to receive good news. Is that selfish? I shared my joy with others and it boosted spirits at work so I guess not.

My Mum sent me a picture and while I was working and trying to make out what the picture was I held in a scream when I realised it was quite possibly most probably the first prints of my first novel!!!!!!!

I rang her knowing I was expecting two books for a separate reason. I also condsidered the fact that it could be the promo material and the books would follow. The conversation went something like:

‘HOW BIG IS THE BOX?!’

‘Er, about a foot wide and…’

‘Mum, does it look like 25 books or 2 books?’

‘Definitely 25.’

‘BRING IT DOWN!’

I couldn’t open the package faster if I tried. I ripped it open and pulled out the first copy of my novel in my hand. It felt so good. It SMELT so good.

Immediately I started glancing through looking for mistakes. Then I swiftly stopped!

AM I DREAMING?

All blog posts can be found at https://www.harrietmills.co.uk/ and to read my published work visit my portfolio.

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

2020: shall we all just scream for ice cream?

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

A well known phrase which, while drinking the third beer on my Sunday last week I desperately wanted to perform. I wouldn’t have stopped at the end though. Oh no. I’d have screamed and screamed and screamed until they could hear me, er, somewhere over the pond which indicates a very loud scream.

Yes, disclaimer, I’m a little tipsy writing this one.

It’s all gong a bit mental hasn’t it. I just opened the BBC news app because I’d not had / possibly missed the latest few announcements on coronavirus so wanted to see whether I’m still legally allowed to leave my home.

Wish I hadn’t.

They’re on about the £10,000 fines for disobeying the rules. It’s just gone next level but is any of it working. Like I get staying 2 metres away etc works, but are the tactics on implementing these rules working?

Anyway.

Forth beer now and I’m happy.

Since writing this, the past week has seen further restrictions and now at work we are all in visors. If you told me this time last year I’d be going to work dressed as if I’m about to operate I’d have laughed in ya face! But it’s happening.

A N Y W A Y. . .

I’m writing this partly because I was on a roll while half cut, partly because I find myself kinda funny, partly as a diary. Like a wartime diary, but not. Far from it.

Just gotta keep on keeping on, eating loads and drinking plenty. Christmas all year round. Everyday. We’ve sung about it for years!

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. You can also find published work in my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is available on Amazon along with the sequel Don’t Tell Jack. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey, then please subscribe to my newsletter by dropping your name and email. There will be plenty of giveaways, news hot off the press and an honest insight into life as an author. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations Writing

Less time, more grateful

There’s no doubt about it, this year has denied us all of time. I’m currently watching the news and feel it is never ending. France now on the quarantine list. The Netherlands. We’ve got to grip onto any positivity.

As lock down eases, I am certainly feeling more and more grateful for the time I have.

For about three months my life was like groundhog day. It still is to a certain extent, but I am now able to do a lot more (and not feel guilty about leaving the house) on my days off. Or should I say day and a half. Well, now we are opening longer on Saturdays it really is one day.

While I get tired and stressed about where I can fit in any writing, I am quickly realising that any free time I have is precious and I am constantly learning how to spend it better. I won’t feel guilty if my entire two hour break is spent with my nose in my book. Sometimes I manage to read, listen to a podcast and write a few words of my next book. On those days I am winning but sometimes one thing is enough and I will just relax and read. I even watched a glimpse of daytime TV the other day. No guilt.

On Sunday, while loving life and deeply appreciating time to myself and away from work, I still found myself fighting against a ticking clock. How? I had one plan to meet friends at 4pm. 4pm. I had hours to fill.

A deep sleep and a bit of reading in the early morning led to a speedy shower and rushing all the morning routine before leaving the house. Tesco time was limited as I had also planned a walk in the arvo. Lunch was deliciously fast and my beer was interrupted by being needed elsewhere. The walk was speedy (it was bloody hot) but lovely and drinks went on all night.

My night ended with the words “Harriet, you’ve got to be up in 5 hours!!!!” and onto the week ahead, speedy gonzales.

It is so true that this life is too fast paced and we cram so much in. It is also true that knowing we have less time leads to being more grateful, so grateful for the time that we have.

🙂

H x

All of my blog posts can be found at https://www.harrietmills.co.uk/ and to read my published work visit my portfolio.