Tag: aspiring writer

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations Writing

An introduction to my newsletter…

I’ve been writing this post since January, I’m ashamed to say it’s my first newsletter of the year and somehow it still hugely applies. I’ve been writing a newsletter monthly (sometimes more often) for a while now where I speak of my writing achievements, my goals, writing tips, book recommendations and, as you can see below, plenty of other stuff!

Most of the words you read my subscriber’s received in their inbox a few months ago in my non-regular but hoping to be much more frequent newsletter. If you enjoy and want more then you can sign up to get exclusive news and extra blog content here. Or by following the link at the bottom of the page, OR by heading to my sign up page on this website!

New Year, No Motivation…

I read recently on Dawn O’Porter’s Patreon how she too was struggling with writing motivation. She made a really good point in that: How can you write meaningful, authentic stuff when you aren’t living? Nothing is happening in life. Yes, we are more free and there have been less rules and restrictions lately but I know so many, myself included, who are still reluctant to venture out. Home feels safe. The virus is EVERYWHERE. Even when out it isn’t how it was. You’re always on edge. Feeling guilty. 

Merely by going for a walk the other day I sparked up some ideas and motivation to write. That was just a walk on my own by the sea. Imagine what a whole day or weekend out and about would do. 

I’m very lucky with my place of work as that alone provides so much life from all different parts of it. Reading also does this but has anyone else struggled to chill out and read?!

I have and it took me the whole in between bit between Christmas and New Year to get back into the practice of it. Recently I’ve hardly read at all. I really think we are all just COVID/ doom and gloom news consumed and burnt out. Here’s to 2022, third time lucky!! And look how that’s going already……

The moment…

My sister and I had a really good conversation the other day and, as this is my newsletter, I will relate it to writing. She is very different to me in that her choice of read is usually non-fiction over fiction. She’s currently reading a book about the moon. While I haven’t read the book, my understanding of the particular part my sister was explaining was living in a cyclical pattern and the benefits it has. Living like the moon. There are times in the month to be productive, to reflect, to get busy and to unwind.

I liken this to living in the moment. Of course, planning to a certain extent is useful, but getting bogged down with it is unproductive. Take writing for example. If I get het up on the fact that I’ve not written as much of my third book and haven’t nearly been as disciplined of late then I will just continue in a downward spiral. If instead I put that on the long finger and focus on what I have achieved and seize the day then that is far more helpful in achieving my goals. Live in the moment like today and take advantage of opportunities like being on a walk and ideas flowing, having the motivation to go back and write, and feeling good at the end of the day with a big fat glass of wine. YES.

Time

A line on a friend’s Facebook page struck me the other day: ‘The thing is, we always think we have time…’ Maybe we do, maybe we don’t but one thing that is certain is that nobody knows how long we’ve got or what is going to change suddenly. I refer to above… live in the moment. 

Be happy. See the good in the little things in life. Speak to the trees, smile at the birds, take photos of a particularly pretty sky. Don’t dwell but embrace. That is what is going to get me to my writing goals this year. I plan to produce a lot more varied content for you while also working on novel number three. Watch this space…

Has anyone else had really weird dreams?

You heard it here first, unless some scientist has already written a paper on it, there is going to be a whole lot that makes more sense as more studies go into how much COVID/ the news is taking up our brain time.

I’ve heard so many people not sleeping who have never had problems before. I’m sure it’s because our brains unknowingly are on override. For that reason I’m cutting myself a bit of slack for not putting much time aside to write.

Then there’s the content…

There is none.

While I always bang on about the fact that my novels are NOT autobiographical in ANY SENSE of the word, obviously to write about things, I have to experience or observe things. I have to live. That proves rather tricky when frequently I go weeks on end without leaving my village.

Shall I just write about my walk on the beach?

On that note, this walk has ignited my writing motivation. It took longer than usual as with everything since March 2020, but eventually ideas started to flow as I silently plodded along the beautiful Suffolk coastline. I came up with the notion for this post, for example, and actually wanted to write it. I was enthusiastic. My next newsletter has also been written in this sitting. In this one sitting?! That hasn’t happened for ages.

What I am trying to say is for all you writers out there, for artists in any form, for people working on things for years who have felt that lately the mojo has vanished – I hear you! You are not alone. Go easy on yourself. What we are living through is HUGE.

I think we are all a bit burnt out. Take care xoxo

A note…

Book 2, Don’t Tell Jack is out. Order your copies now on Amazon!

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. You can also find published work in my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is available on Amazon along with the sequel Don’t Tell Jack. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey, then please subscribe to my newsletter by filling in the form at the bottom of any page of my website. There will be plenty of giveaways, news hot off the press and an honest insight into life as an author. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

Help!

Lately I have asked for a lot of it. For things in life where I haven’t a clue and others are experts. For guidance from those more experienced, both young and old. For myself. From myself.

I have asked for help from friends and from strangers. From colleagues and customers at work when I’m trying to do too many things at once.

I’m certainly someone who struggles to accept help. I feel guilty for owing people an invaluable amount. Obviously I thank them but I feel forever I will owe them when you can’t put a price on the guidance they’ve given me.

It is a strange one isn’t it because the nature of my job is helping people. We help the elderly by delivering goods and a bit of conversation/ company along with it. We help the young by giving them jobs. We help those lost in reality by directing them and others lost within their soul by providing a sounding board in times of need.

Whenever I help someone the last thing I think is about how they are going to repay me. It is the last thing on my mind. Yet when someone helps me before they’ve even done so I’m thinking of what extravagant gift I can buy them which won’t come close to how grateful I am.

Claudia Winkleman addresses this in her book, Quite. She says ‘Here’s the thing with help. People want to do it. We get really stuck sometimes and just need to unload, to spill the dirt, to share the burden. Think about you. Do you get grumpy if someone asks for advice, if someone sends you their justgiving.com link, if a friend calls to have a little cry? Do you mind? Of course you don’t. You race round, you donate, you offer services. Help. The more you give the more you get.’

The fact of the matter is I’m so lucky to be surrounded by good people. If you surround yourself with good people then you become better and they are always willing to help.

That’s my thought for today – Happy Tuesday Everyone!

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. You can also find published work in my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is available on Amazon along with the sequel Don’t Tell Jack. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey, then please subscribe to my newsletter by dropping your name and email at the bottom of any page of my website. There will be plenty of giveaways, news hot off the press and an honest insight into life as an author. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

Some things I’ve learnt in the pandemic…

This year is so strange, isn’t it? When it all began I was so sure it’d be over by now. Instead, I’m chilling with my dog, listening to it all over the news and not allowed into my bedroom because my sister is working from home. This virtual existence is odd. A new job and she’s hardly met any of her colleagues…so so odd.

Trying my best to cling tightly onto the good bits, here are some lessons I’ve learnt during the pandemic.

1. How to complain

And I’m getting so good at it. Back when things were normal I was the worlds worst at complaints. I would cower and crumble within seconds and then retract my complaint and allow companies to walk all over me.

Fast forward to the ‘new normal’ and I’m shit hot at complaining. Everyone just blames COVID-19 and while I sympathise to a certain extent, there HAS to be a line. Poor service is poor service and I’m rocking the complaints!

2. How lucky I am

This is always a good thing to remember but this pandemic has highlighted it hugely for me. My life has been busy, work takes over my days and my dreams at night, I’m tired, haven’t done much at all and don’t wish to for fear I’d have to self isolate for 2 weeks which just isn’t feasible. However walking home the other day from an hour at my friends drinking wine and watching the dogs play, i just reminded myself of how truly lucky I am. It was raining. Pouring. But still I felt so so lucky.

3. I’m a sucker for sales

Let’s face it, I’m not spending money on anything else. I was the first to blow £50 with ease at the pub on my way home from another expense. This has stopped. At the beginning I was frequently bulk buying wine. This is still the case but I’m finding myself receiving parcels in the post and then a light switch goes off in my head and I vaguely remember ordering another thing I don’t need online (blame the wine).

4. Healthy life style living in countryside

I have 100% gained COVID pounds and the scales are becoming less liked daily. I don’t get it. At Christmas each year I work stupid hours at a rate of knots, still drink gallons of alcohol and always, ALWAYS lose half a stone or more. This year is different.

In attempt to help the situation I’m doing little things in walking a longer way to work to get the steps in, always making sure I exercise more on my day off and trying to (mostly) eat better. While I’m still drinking too much wine which is something I’m not yet ready to sacrifice, I do feel healthier for these tiny efforts. Each time I walk I feel thankful for the health benefits of living in the countryside and I take in that extra clean country air.

Categories
fiction Stories Writing

A LOCK DOWN NOVEL: 4

(a snippet of)

Chapter 4 Erin

Of course, I worried a little initially about the horror stories I had heard. The trolls, the glamorous accounts of false lives to make me feel awful about my own, the mass of uneducated opinions, the dangerously fast addiction and everything else in between, but I never thought much about it all. Besides being sixteen in 2019 meant that I had a firm grasp of what lay before me and I felt strong enough to cope with life on social media.

At the beginning I tried to remain strong anyway. It was more to prove a point to my mum but a fraction of it was fear of the inevitable. I could feel instantly the addiction looming. After two days of having access to the virtual social world, my phone was the first thing I went to pick up in the morning and the last thing that I put down at night. I spent hours scrolling and still do, but I don’t know why because after doing so I have never gained anything more or lost anything, my life remains exactly as it was.

On days when I feel bad about my own image, Instagram strengthens this sad emotion when I witness the accounts not of celebrities but of my own friends looking like celebrities. Their accounts fill my newsfeed with perfection and no flaws. The perfect brunch, the most exotic holiday venues, the prettiest new haircuts that look better than I looked that time when I had my hair and all my makeup done by a professional for a family wedding back in Ireland.

At the weekend I see friends and acquaintances out having fun. I always think to myself how they are doing the things that I should be doing when I am visiting Mummy or at work. Friends who have gone to places without even asking me so of course I feel totally left out and forgotten. Acquaintances who I don’t even care about doing things that make my Saturday night look so boring and suddenly I am deeply involved with care for the comparison.

On a more distant level, I see opinions all the time that I completely disagree with or that make me so angry that I can feel my face going red. I see people being horrible openly in their statuses or indirect Tweets and I laugh a little inside in agreement, but never would I say it to their face. I don’t wish to be involved with that kind of negative behavior, but it is too easy to get sucked in.

Categories
fiction Writing

A LOCK DOWN NOVEL: 5

(a snippet of)

Chapter 5 Jack

In the bathroom I have a stool to stand on to brush my teeth properly and wash my face thoroughly. I needed it to reach the sink when I was younger, but now I have grown a bit and only use it so that I have that extra bit of height because our bathroom sink is quite deep and higher up than a normal one.

Mummy bought me an electric toothbrush for my tenth birthday because she said that once you reach double digits you are old enough to have one and this made me very excited. I now brush my teeth better than I ever did before, but it means that now they know I am awake because they can hear me in the bathroom.

‘Oh hello Jack. I didn’t see you sneak in here! Did you sleep ok?’ Eileen says to me while putting her arms around me and squeezing me tight. I nod in reply.

My tooth brush buzzes three times quickly and that’s when I know it’s time to stop. Cleaning is finished for another morning. Now it’s time to wash my face with my new wash that Eileen got me. She said it will stop big spots coming early so that I will never get bullied when I become a teenager. I didn’t understand what she meant but I don’t ever want to get bullied, so I always use it to wash my face.

Finally, the screaming has stopped and I think Erin is ready to leave the house. I just have to put my clothes on but that won’t take very long at all because Eileen and I laid them out all neat last night before I went to bed. As I am getting dressed I hear the car doors open outside on the driveway and this makes me happy because it means that there will be no more waiting around before leaving the house for whatever it is we have to do and wherever it is we are going.

I get in the car and wait a few moments while Eileen locks up and makes sure that Flo is happy and won’t destroy the kitchen cupboards like she has done occasionally when she got anxious with us being away for a long time. Flo is my favourite.

As we drive out of our close along the busy road into York city centre, I think about all the happy times that I have had with Flo. I’m not allowed to walk her on my own yet, but I still enjoy walks with her because even if I am with Eileen or Erin or even Mummy sometimes then I still can feel like I’m all on my own.

Our drive keeps stopping and starting because of lots of traffic lights but I’m not taking too much notice because I am thinking about Flo and all the good times we’ve had. Suddenly our drive stops completely and I realise that we are here. The car park is busy and the signs suggest we are at a police station or a station where policemen go but I don’t know why this would be or why Erin would need to come here on a Saturday when she’s not at school.

Categories
fiction Writing

A LOCK DOWN NOVEL: 2

(a snippet of)

Chapter 2, Erin

Erin struggled to place Flo’s harness over her head and attach the lead because she was so overexcited for the fact that they would be leaving the house but once she had a treat in her hand and gave firm commands, Flo obeyed and they were ready to go.

Erin desperately hoped that nobody would see her because she was worried that they would judge her for taking the dog out like normal after finding out such dreadfully upsetting news about a friend. Despite her dog walk being part of the process of grieving and trying to come to terms with what had happened, she feared anybody looking on wouldn’t see it that way and instead would view it as her moving on with normality after just half a day. Part of her brain stopped her briefly claiming that her thoughts were nonsense, and nobody would be so judgemental, but a strong part kept the thoughts coming so she constantly looked around and walked at a faster pace until she reached the field.

She particularly liked the route they were taking because not many people knew the walk after the field so it was often empty and free from people so Erin’s thoughts could go wild, freely with no judgement. As the sun shone on her barber jacket, she almost wanted to remove it because it gave her such warmth, but it was the kind of weather where she was too hot with a coat on but too cool with the coat off so for now she left her outfit as it was.

She realised that her pace hadn’t slowed to normal after speed walking while on the street because she got to her special place much quicker than she usually would, but she was thankful for that as she was ready to release some emotions. That was the good thing about Erin’s special spot, it allowed her to release anything and then gave her the option to leave that emotion behind and move forward once she walked back.

She had first discovered the place when she needed to vent about the loss of her dad at such a young age. She had been fairly open about her upset to her mother but never expressed the anger she felt towards it all. The fact that they were left behind, that he was taken too early and how much impact it had on her mother, so she wasn’t strong enough to support Erin and Jack properly, which wasn’t her fault at all, they had been told that often. The special place gave her room to scream at the top of her lungs, to let it all out without anyone around to hear her or give an opinion that she didn’t welcome anyway.

It was a simple place. Just a large tree trunk on its side facing an expanse of open field with a large bush behind it so that there was no worry of anybody hiding and seeing her. As soon as she placed her backside on the wood each time an instant feeling of relief came over her. It was the same feeling she had after the two hypnosis sessions that aunt Eileen took her to and it felt amazing. This time was no exception and Erin sat, breathed in deeply and for a single moment she forgot about everything.

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations Recommendations

Isolation: best of a bad situation 4-6

As promised here are some more ideas to make lock down/isolation/social distancing/ all of those things we are currently living through more bearable.

Candles/ Incense

Creating a calm space is always healthy but more so now. Sometimes lock down has made me feel stressed because I am able to think about what is happening and think too much about everything else. Sometimes I even feel a little trapped. By lighting the many candles in my room and an incense stick, my room becomes a calm, peaceful space and I think, quite frankly, I could stay there forever!

Music

I have always harped on about how important music is to me and how I couldn’t live without it and this has remained the case during these mad times. At the beginning of the lock down, I was running at the weekend and, occasionally if I felt totally reckless, in my breaks. It was great. I was getting some exercise in, increasing my heart rate but also it was a release for my mind and my soul.

Bad knees soon put a stop to this but on walks (if without company) and always while walking to and from work each day I listen to music and I really appreciate that feeling of feeling alive.

Reading

Reading allows me to lose myself entirely. I escape into another world where, though problems potentially are many, they aren’t mine and they aren’t real. That reminds me, I must finish my book and get onto the next in the pile!

NB* since scheduling this post last week I have finished said book Grown Ups by Marian Keyes and it’s a brilliantly, feel-good, entertaining, hilarious, relatable and also heartbreaking read. I have begun The Butterfly Room by Lucinda Riley which is great so far (will let you know how I get on).

Any book recommendations welcome and I’ll keep them coming your way too.

Over and out.

H

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations Writing

In a crazy world where good things happen.

7.

From the day that panic buying began, work has been mental. Honestly, it’s been like Christmas Eve every day on repeat. Mental. This has meant that my usual writing schedule has flown quite forcefully out of the window.

I have gone from chilled, to freaking out, to chilled, to care free and back to freaking out about this. After some time I realised that there’s not much I can do about it other than ensure that I look after my body so that I can continue to help the community. That’s the priority.

Each week when I plan I prioritise. Which projects need completeing first. Sometimes I will put something on hold in order to complete others. Some weeks I manage to fit it all in. I don’t know how. It feels good.

Quickly, I made the decision not to plan during this crisis. At most I get two hours out between 7am and 6pm and I am ALWAYS exhausted. I come home, maybe eat some rubbish. Usually drink a warm beverage and sit my arse on the sofa. Productive, not.

I made the decision not to plan writing in these small windows of time because, quite frankly, what is the point. As tired as I am the writing I produce would most probably be useless and I always feel begrudged when I am FORCING myself to be creative. It should come naturally. Creativity should always come naturally.

This is so true.

On Sunday’s during this lock down, I have found myself getting my laptop out. Sunday’s is usually the day when I avoid this unless I simply feel like it. I have usually completed all tasks at hand during my carefully planned week so Sunday’s are for me.

Recently I have found so much writing inspiration on Sunday’s.

The first time was to celebrate the fact that it was sunny so I was writing outside for the first time this year. But this has continued. I have found that actually, though writing almost nothing all week, my productivity when I simply fancy it is through the roof.

I wrote three chapters of my second novel in a row. I am writing more blog posts than ever and enjoying each one I write. I’m reading loads and getting so many ideas. My creative brain is on overdrive and my notes on my phone are filling faster than ever.

I love it. The lock down has done wonders for my writing. Any creatives among you, I really hope you have found the same!

A selfishly personal tale, but still upbeat and positive so thought I’d share.

You’re welcome.

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

Isolation: the reality

This is all a bit strange isn’t it? I think we’re all feeling a bit weird.

I didn’t think that the isolation situation had got to me yet. All week I have been busying about at work with just a few hours out in which I cleaned my desk, played with my dog in the garden and generally enjoyed not staring at a selection of groceries working out which order they belong to (I am happy to help).

Each evening I have gulped a few beers faster than usual before crashing into a heap in the land of nod. Shattered.

Saturday afternoon was the first time I had a good amount of time to myself to experience what the majority of the nation had experienced all week. I loved it. I slept a lot, sat down a lot and enjoyed a run where more people were out wandering than usual.

I watched a film in the evening and consumed two civilized beers before taking myself to bed in my newly cleansed room. It felt good. After applying a good amount of hand cream to my ever crisping hands, I fell asleep, stinging a bit.

I woke on Sunday morning feeling fresh. It was 6:20am which was actually 5:20am and my dog was barking. No change there. Waiting it out a little to see if we would both go back to sleep, I gave in and went downstairs to boil the kettle and let my dog out for a pee (I couldn’t cope with him wetting the bed that early in the morning).

A cuppa in one hand and my dog in the other, I felt very content and headed back into my dozing slumber. The next few hours were spent in and out of consciousness. Reading, cuddling, drinking warm beverages and eating a pastry.

It got to half eleven and I text some friends in the village to see if they needed anything as I was off to Waitrose. It was like a normal Sunday. This is not a normal Sunday.

I wasn’t really thinking but assuming that my trip was essential being the first time I had left the village all week. They replied urging me, quite rightly, to stay home. So I did.

Beer – not essential. Snacks – I have plenty. Other essential items – not essential. I can do without shampoo for one day.

It made me realise that I was probably justifying my one trip, but what I really was after was sanity for my mind. I soon realised there are plenty of ways to get this inside the home. During isolation. Alone.

Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy my company, time to myself and a Sunday filled with doing absolutely nothing but when my mind is a bit crazy, which it has been for a few weeks, I struggle.

I’m not going to pretend that I am completely ok with this scenario we find ourselves in. I’m not afraid to admit that my mind is more chaotic than ever. OF COURSE IT IS, I AM A WRITER. That a trip to the beach, more than one walk, a drive out and a mooch around the shops would help. I’m just saying all of this can wait and they will come and we will look forward to them.

It isn’t essential that we go out. It is essential that we try and stay home.

I’m about to listen to Dawn O’Porter’s So Lucky podcasts while sorting another area of my room. While my mind feels wild at the moment, I know it’ll feel calmer after. Just like it would after a drive. Just like it would after a trip to the beach. Just like it would after a mooch around the shops or a sip of a beer (of which I have NONE!).

While this may be a lot more painful for so many of you, I’m just trying to say as I’m just realising myself that we all need to adapt. Those moments will come but for now there are many ways we can find peace within our minds.

Listen to the radio (perhaps not the news). Meditate. Put on your favourite playlist and dance around the house. Stare out into the sun. Appreciate the view. Tidy. Sort. Read.

I think it will do our mental health some good. I hope it will anyway.

I hope you have a peaceful Sunday x

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations Writing

Since when did our world get so busy?

Since when did our world get so busy? Since when did we struggle to find time? Time has always been the same length. So tell me, what happened to mine?

Since when did we start having to set reminders; to text back, to wake up, to go out to dinner, to put things away. How did life get too manic that when we finally manage to stop we don’t know what to say.

Since when did we wish for things to slow down so much that we get home and lock the doors just to escape for a while.

If someone asks us to help out in the evening, we struggle to find the energy to go that extra mile.

Since when did work engulf us and every other aspect just have to fit in? To the point where we have to book a holiday and force ourselves, force ourselves to give in.

Since technology, since globalization, since everything got faster and easier and more complicated.

All these wonderful developments in this wonderful world that are all going to end up simply hated.

It has forced us to speed up, it has forced us to cram everything into the shortest spaces of time. It has forced us to find ways out to a simpler life and a bit of peace of mind.

Sometimes, just sometimes, take a slo-mo moment from your day. Perhaps don’t even stop just slow down and notice all the good around you in so many ways.

Notice friends, notice nature, notice family, notice pets, notice sounds, notice how it feels to be alive.

It is almost too much, so often too much, but what most of us want is easy and for easy we must strive.