Categories
Observations

Did you really hear that? Listening is a skill.

It may sound strange that it’s taken the first twenty three years of my life to figure this out but I’ve finally discovered that listening is a skill.

It’s a skill that requires an amount of practise. It’s a skill that I realised only a few months back I’ve not quite grasped so I’ve consciously been working on it in attempt to get better.

Listening is very different from hearing. You may well be able to hear quite perfectly but not actually be listening to a word that’s being said. How many times have you been talking to someone and then after the conversation has ended you’ve forgotten all that you spoke about. Or even worse, while stood there with them you realise that you’ve tuned out and it’s not until they direct a question at you that you notice how lost in conversation you are.

Working in a food shop, I’m forever taking orders then immediately forgetting what they asked for despite looking as though I took every word on board while staring blankly into their face. The phrase ‘in one ear and out the other’ couldn’t be truer in these moments and embarrassed doesn’t cover it.

We all have those we’d rather not listen to, or people who bore us endless so tuning out really isn’t that big of a deal, but I found recently that sometimes when I think I’m listening I’m not actually taking anything in.

I’ve always thought of myself as a good listener, especially to a friend in need. People close to me often ask for advice or ring up and simply want me to listen and give any pointers that I can. I’m good at that and I always revise the conversations had after when I’m on my own and I can remember close to everything that was said.

So, I’m good at listening to the important things. Well, mostly, but then nobody is perfect right? Sometimes an amount of guilt fills me when I think back to conversations that I should have remembered and can’t. Or go to ask a friend a question and they tell me I’ve already asked it five times previously. Oops. I never mean to but it’s times like these when I come to understand that my listening skills do need some refining.

Of course there are many ways to improve your listening, but I’ve found that indulging in activities that use your ears rather than your eyes helps massively. Things like tuning into the radio rather than watching mind-numbing TV. I realise I’m about to sound a lot older than I am in my next statement but I find that radio 4 is a good station to choose for this. Most shows involve a lot of conversation, quite deep discussions at that so sometimes you really have to focus if you want to hear and understand.

I also find listening to a play or audio book helps too. Sometimes it’s hard to shut your brain off and fully focus on the sounds coming from the radio. It takes me a while to do this and I really have to try.

Audio books are easier and I can usually be doing other jobs while playing one in the background, still fully aware of the story line and what’s happening. However, plays for some reason I struggle with a little more. Therefore, by listening to more of them I’ve found that I’m getting better at shutting my brain off quicker to the outside world and focusing in for an hour, understanding what’s going on through truly listening rather than only hearing.

Next time you’re having a conversation with somebody, revise it after and try to remember what was said. If you can’t then after the next conversation that you have, repeat the process and hopefully you’ll have retained a bit more information. As well as this indulge in chilling methods that involve listening and concentration like radio shows and audio books.

You’ll find as your skills improve and you become a better listener, you won’t have to speak as much and when you do you’ll find you’re a better speaker too, with only necessary words exiting your mouth.

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Review

A happy place, an inanimate object and a spot of hypnosis

Hypnosis is something that I’ve never really considered before. My dad had a stint of attempting to learn it after he’d spoken about it at the pub one Sunday afternoon and I’ve occasionally listened to a few of Paul McKenna’s tapes for relaxation, but I’ve never considered it as a form of therapy.

This wasn’t until a friend of mine was doing a course and needed people to practise on for her qualification. Being intrigued, I said yes.

On the afternoon of my session, I was extremely tired having been working hard so was about ready to fall asleep in the chair, especially after I felt the comfort as it reclined back. We chatted and because I was merely doing it so that she could get signed off, I hadn’t really anything particular to get sorted (though I’m sure I have loads really). After our chat I opted to go for self esteem. Mainly because she said she could do that within the time frame that we had but also because often my self esteem has been a little poor.

So we chatted for a short while and then my friend vanished for a little while longer to create her script and then it was time. Time to go into trance (or fall asleep).

When my friend returned to the room we began. Firstly, I was to picture the point of a pencil and focus on that entirely. Unless I’m remembering something really good or really bad, my memory doesn’t usually come in images, as far as I’m aware at least, so I found this task quite difficult. After a while of trying and going through a list of inanimate objects that I could potentially see, we settled for a bubble and continued.

I then had to imagine being in my happy place and I opted for, as always, the beach. I’ve always found something quite relaxing and uplifting about being by the sea. Walking along a cobble beach and looking out at the never ending ocean that meets the sky on the horizon. For me it’s always been a place where I realise how small I am in this huge world and seemingly my troubles all drift away.

This is why the beach was my chosen happy place and I could vividly see myself walking out into the water, the tide washing over my feet. After hearing my hypnotist count down from ten to one, I remember nothing else that was said until I was being brought back into the room.

I was definitely in a trance. She said herself that it’s easy to tell when people are faking it and it took me a few attempts to go so I definitely went. I know I did. Whatever was said during the time I was under is unknown to me but will hopefully have impacted on my subconscious and improved my self esteem. Also, the session took about forty minutes but it truly felt like five had passed, another way I can tell that it happened.

The feeling I felt after the session was that of total relaxation. I didn’t care at this point whether I felt more upbeat about myself or not, I felt drunk on chill. I was walking around in a world of my own as if on mood enhancing drugs and it felt so good. I would definitely do the whole thing again just for this feeling to return. It was similar to the feeling you get when you take that first sip of wine after a really busy day, but I felt like I’d had a bottle when I’d had none at all.

Over the following few days when I was discussing my experience with others and they asked if I’d noticed a difference, I said that I hadn’t. Aside from the amazing feeling after, nothing had really changed. Then again self-esteem is something that isn’t black and white and I thought to myself that maybe I’d notice over time.

Someone who did notice is my boss and lovely friend, who said she’d seen a massive boost in my positivity and high spirits immediately. She also commented on the fact that during situations when I’d usually get stressed out, I’d managed to stay much calmer. Now, she knows me extremely well so I completely trust her word and I do feel great.

If anyone is considering having a go at hypnosis, even if you’re not certain about why, I’d say do it. You’ll feel amazing after and you will get benefits from it, you’ve just got to trust in the person in control and let yourself go.

 

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Adulthood

Never underestimate the power of a short getaway

No matter how organised you are, no matter how much you think you’ve got it all together, whether you feel you’re a pro at juggling family, work, socialising and everything else – we all need time away from it all.

A few days ago I returned home from a weekend away and it wasn’t until I was back and ready for bed that I noticed how completely refreshed I felt. Life’s been a little hectic of late for various reasons, but three days (almost) away has given my body and mind the boost they needed.

I think we all have times where things can get a little overwhelming and we feel as though there are not enough hours in the day to get everything done as well as deal with the stress it causes. From a short break to a sunny place in Europe to a trip up north to visit friends, always consider a mini holiday somewhere, anywhere, when you’re feeling like you’re stuck under the swamping pile of life.

My weekend was spent doing just the same as I usually do when relaxing; drinking copious amounts of gin accompanied by friends who just go with the randomness of my brain while eating our body weight in nachos. I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary and if I’d stayed at home I’d have probably partaken in similar activities. However, there’s something about getting on that train, or driving somewhere different which brings a whole new level of revitalization.

It begins in the journey and continues from thereon. Particularly if you choose to go by some form of public transport which doesn’t require your full concentration at all times. The act of sitting aimlessly staring out of the window at the fields and clouds passing somehow instantly relaxes you. The change of scenery helps too, like a breath of fresh air.

Life can get tedious and mundane, I don’t mean that negatively. Life is great but the routine can suck you in so much that you feel trapped from time to time and need to break out. Breaking out of the routine into a new environment for a short while allows you to breathe. You don’t even have to think about all that’s going on in your daily life because this is new and seems to temporarily remove those thoughts and feelings from you.

When you return, even if the situation remains stagnant back home, you definitely feel stronger, more ready to handle anything and deal with it better. You have more energy, you have a clearer mind and you feel good. Your tolerance radar has gone down to zero allowing you to handle the people you were beginning to lose your patience with. Everything is OK again.

So next time things start to get on top of you and you feel engulfed by stress, be encouraged with the knowledge that you too can always get access to a quick escape. You too have the ability to feel as refreshed as I did on my journey home. To feel comfort in knowing that you’ll always be able to get away when times get a little tough. Get away and discover the power of a few days respite from the hustle and bustle of every day life.

Categories
Adulthood

A goal’s a goal, but always enjoy the present moment

I work on average forty hours a week and people still think that I don’t have a job?

Judging from firsthand experience, most people in their late teens or at some stage during their twenties begin their undergraduate studies expecting these to lead on to a good career. They may not know at the point of starting what this career will be in, where it’ll be or whether they’re doing the right thing in undertaking a degree, but a strong career as the outcome is usually on the cards.

They have a fabulous time studying, partying, developing life skills that come with the whole invaluable university experience and soon come to the realisation that the job part at the end is going to prove more difficult than initially imagined. Particularly if your degree subject is broad.

You’re told throughout your studies how competitive the graduate pool of employment is and often you’re steered away from certain careers that originally sparked interest in you because ‘you’ll never make any money doing that’ or ‘you need far more experience’. You then may speak to third years or (even worse) the recently graduated who tell you how disheartening it all is finding a graduate position and you’ll be told to get yourself in Costa and put on an apron or to be ready to revise your cocktail making skills at the local as soon as Uni ends.

The negativity surrounding graduates who haven’t leaped out of their graduation ceremonies into a junior graduate position is what bothers me the most. The judgement your get from people who are judging from their experience fifty years ago. This is the part I have a huge problem with and I shall tell you why.

I graduated in May 2017. Well, no, I officially graduated in November 2017 but my studies finished in May. At this time I’d just handed in my dissertation and eagerly awaited the results for my degree. The dissertation that I’d worked on ruthlessly for a solid year. The piece of work which had brought laughs, determination, screams of frustration, tears of despair and an overwhelming sense of relief once I’d handed it in and sat downing a pint of cider black in the student’s union bar.

The results I was waiting on would show whether my hard work had paid off. The work which had to be done on top of learning to live on my own. Discovering how to deal with the emotional roller-coaster of being this age (and a girl at that) without my Mum by my side (though often on the phone). To sort little things like shopping, bills and health appointments. Dealing with not being home when I felt I was needed. These results wouldn’t come until July.

As dramatic as this all sounds and despite loving every minute of my time at Uni, what I’m trying to express is that university is not an easy escape. In fact, it gears you up for a lot of things and gives you enough stress to deal with so that your methods of coping progress. This is one of the many reasons that I decided to go travelling post third year mayhem.

I went in July until November. I explored so many countries across Europe with my sister and then took the rest of the world (almost) on myself. I had the most fantastic time, met some of the greatest people and learnt a hell of a lot about myself and life. I learnt how never to feel alone. I figured how to deal with distressing hiccups when things went wrong and how to get out of sticky situations I’d got myself in calmly and carefully. I realised that most people you meet are fabulous, but most importantly how young I am and how much of this great life I have ahead of me.

I returned from my travels and almost instantly spent a week working with The Observer Magazine at the Guardian Media Group in London. Here too I learnt so much. I learnt how big media companies work, how vibrant and open the office space makes your mind feel, how willing to teach and guide me the staff were, but the lesson which has influenced me the most is how being yourself will always pay off which I remember when I read the reference given to me by the Editor.

Since this eyeopening and highly insightful week which I’ll never forget I have been working full time hours at the shop where I’ve worked on and off for the past seven years. Frequently interested customers or people I meet in the street who know me ask what I’m doing with myself. ‘What are you doing with yourself?’ What a delightful way to put it.

They want to know whether I’ve got a job yet or how the job hunt is going. I love that people are interested, really I do. What I don’t love is how some people pass over the fact that my job is that thing I go to each week, six days and tirelessly work. Like many other of my graduate friends I am yet to start my career, I’m yet to find that opening into the role I’ll work in and progress through for the next fifty years of my life, but I do still have a job.

I’m twenty three. I’m not settled and I wouldn’t want to be quite yet. I’m actively looking, I’m working while looking, and eventually I’ll use my degree subject to pursue that career. For now, I’m enjoying life. Enjoying being young and having so much ahead of me to look forward to. I’m enjoying living in limbo and not having a clue what the future holds but being open to all opportunities that come my way whenever they do.

I’m using the skills that I’ve gained from all my life experiences every day. From school, university, travels and work experience. From friends, relatives and working in a buzzing environment where all walks of life come through the door. All the above gives me advice and helps me to develop as a person and progress towards a successful future.

Of course my career is a huge priority right now and I deeply consider it every day, but it’s not just going to come out of nowhere. Searching takes time, applications take time, rejections take time and the entire process is long. I also need a life on top of this and not to forget about enjoying the present circumstance. I love my job, I love my life and I love that my future could be anything I want it to be. I am incredibly lucky.

I’ll keep searching and anybody else in this predicament needs to stick to their guns and know how great they’re doing. Here’s a video that you may want to watch. Anybody. It may change your perspective for the better.

 

Categories
Observations

Very British things to do

As a nation, and a rather small one at that, we have many characteristics that are very, very British. Traits that to other countries seem ludicrous and unnecessary like the amount we seem to love queuing to the point that it could be classed as a talent. We even say to fellow queue-ers around us how hilarious it is that the Brits are always in queues. We queue at the airport, in traffic jams, sandwich shops and even the longest of bars where queues are not meant to happen.

Bizarre wastes of energy like the amount we moan. Moan about the weather, if it rains and if it shines. Too cold in the winter, far too hot as soon as the sun comes out. Moan about the price of stamps and how ridiculous it is when they increase by a few pence at a time. My gosh, how dare they? Moan in general all day. If you hear someone when you’re on holiday moaning then you can put money on them being a Brit. We moan about British people moaning and then continue to moan our days away.

Obscure ways to spend our free time like being rowdy drunks and drinking ourselves into oblivion every Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Coming away from a night out with mass injuries and embarrassment beyond compare. We say we’ll never do it again but I’m yet to meet someone who’s learnt that lesson.

Men and the amount they can talk about sport. Golf I find the most strange. They sit for hours on end watching, in my humble opinion, one of the dullest sports ever. I struggle to understand football too if I’m honest. Why guys have to sit and watch entire matches when they could just flick over to see the score from time to time, that’s all you really need to know. Isn’t it?

The amount we love our pets and make them our lives. I know there is a love for cute animals worldwide, but especially in the UK do we go nuts about dogs and EVERYONE knows a crazy cat lady. Some people spend more on getting their dogs groomed each month than they do on haircuts for their offspring. I’m pretty sure some people would give up their children over their dogs if it came to that.

Finding the correct change and hating ‘all those little bits’. What’s a five pence piece ever done to you? So often do I serve customers wanting to pay for five pounds worth of goods in shrapnel and so frequently do I find myself doing the same. The satisfaction you get when you get rid of the last of your coppers leaving an empty purse, only notes. It’s one of life’s greatest feelings. Almost.

Tea has got to be mentioned because drinking the good stuff is what we do best. We drink it from the minute we wake up until it’s an acceptable time to consume something alcoholic. If you go anywhere in public before 10AM on a week day you’ll here person after person saying how little they can function without their morning cuppa. It’s true, it’s needed. Afternoon tea with sandwiches and scones is also frightfully British. If you’ve never partaken in this activity then you need to reevaluate your nationality.

The ability to make the most of any sunshine that we get granted. The barbecues are retrieved from sheds, dust wiped off and ready to be put away again that evening when the rain begins. The holiday clothes come out shocked to be experiencing the heat of the homeland as opposed to that of Spain or Portugal. Supermarket shelves begin emptying as families flock to get supplies for the party, knowing this is the only chance they get and winter will be upon them before they can make the Pimms.

This brings me to another very British thing – Pimms. Yes that drink which is a must on any day where a speck of blue sky can be seen. Something to accompany the strawberries and cream at Wimbledon each year. Pimms o’clock becomes 24 hours when the fair weather kicks in.

So these are a few very British things. They contribute to making us a weird and wonderful, unique and special nation which I wouldn’t want to change at all.

 

 

 

Categories
Observations

Calm down dear, patience is a virtue

Patience. It’s a gift and talent that only some of us have been granted. It is something that has to be learnt and needs practise. I’ve not grasped this skill yet and doubt I ever will. Occasionally I impress myself but mostly I fail. I’m not the most tolerant, at certain times of the month less so than others, but at my best patience runs low.

Do you ever find yourself getting irrationally irritated at people when they’ve done nothing wrong? They come into a shop and dither slightly and you’re cursing inside your head longing for them to hurry up and leave.

Or they come back in multiple times thinking of more things that they forgot, laugh in jest and you laugh back but through gritted teeth, filled with rage. A situation that on reflection seems so mundane and your reaction completely unnecessary but you couldn’t help it, of course. Sounding familiar? Read on.

You walk down the high street behind slow moving elderly and your head is about to burst in frustration. If you were a nice human being you’d just leisurely stroll behind them, realising they’ve lost their fast moving capabilities, besides you’re usually in no rush, but you can’t do it. The anger fills your veins as you stomp past and relax as soon as you have free space in front of your steps. Nothing actually gained.

You have arguments with siblings over nothing then minutes after the outburst you regret all you said and apologise for your brashness. Almost laughing at your ridiculous behavior.

Driving is the worst. Road rage at its finest. I mean, there are plenty of idiots on the road I will give myself that, but sometimes I get overly riled needlessly. Shouting insanely at some nutter pulling out in front of me and then laughing at my melodramatic behavior a few minutes later.

Arriving at a red light that’s just turned and feeling as though you’ll be stuck there forever. I really mean forever. Cursing for it to change to amber when the time that’s past hasn’t yet equated to a minute and you’ve not got anywhere to be.

Waiting for people to finish in the bathroom on a morning. I’m sure this provokes scenes of vexation in many households. You don’t consider the fact that you’re all in the same position and have to leave early. Instead you feel as though you’re the most rushed and cannot possibly wait two more minutes for someone to finish brushing their teeth. Calm down. Really, calm down.

Perhaps you find yourself wanting to scream very loud much of the time then question whether it’s really that bad and tell yourself to stop being so bloody dramatic. I know I certainly do. Unless you’re one of those horizontal rarities that gets irritated by nothing, in which case I am jealous.

So that’s me and patience, I’m sure many of you can relate. I aim to get better at the art of restraint but for now I’ll let my frustration build and use coping mechanisms like walks and wine. I thank my lucky stars for wine.

Categories
Observations

Recollect the reality, these are the good old days

How many times have you been tidying your room and found yourself wasting three hours through distraction to a box of photos. Or finding some birthday cards that you end up reading and keeping for the next time that you’re supposed to be having a clear out. You even keep the ones that simply address you and sign out. “Dear Harriet, Happy Birthday. Love Tom”. Oh but I remember him from school. The good times we had. You know, the job that was supposed to take you half an hour slowly stretches out to take up most of your day. We’ve all been there.

I was looking through some memories with a friend the other night when it crossed my mind that these are the good old days. Here and now is the time we’ve got to love. I know it’s so cliche to say so and there is an expression along these lines but they really are. My friend is older than me and was looking back on times of being younger. The smile that filled her face upon remembering these people and these wild nights was lovely to see. We now have photos together and even though they date back a few years, I still look at some of the earlier ones and think what great fun we had that night or how lovely that visit was to the beach.

I’m using this specific example of one particular friend because it’s what prompted me to write this post, but in general we don’t quite realise how fast time goes by (no matter how much we comment upon it). We constantly find photos from our pasts and smile thinking how great that holiday was or what brilliant weather we had that summer.

When you actually think back to that moment did you feel as happy as you now are reflecting upon it in hindsight on a miserable rainy and cold winters day in February? Did you REALLY appreciate those moments?

I get that ‘hindsight is a beautiful thing’ and we often don’t realise how happy we are until we look back, but I for one am going to try extremely hard to feel in the moments what I know I’ll feel when I look back at the photos.

Facebook tells us each day what existed in our past. Today in 2013 I was apparently telling the world that I’d love a baby owl that never grows up for my birthday, I still do. In 2009 I’d been on a run – that was probably the first and last time this happened. But looking back on these daily reminders, I often think that I should’ve loved that moment more. Loved how I was more. Loved people within those memories more.

I want to look back on my photos and love them as much as I loved that memory in reality. I want to live each day knowing in the future it’ll make part of what will be my ‘good old days’ and I want to love it with everything I’ve got.

No matter how past it you think you are, how boring and mundane your middle aged life is, how stressful and scary your twenties are, how annoying it is being a teenager and too young to do loads of cool things, remember that these days will make up the days you look back upon and love. Remember that smile that’ll fill your face when you stumble upon these pictures in a box when sorting out your loft.

Continue to take as many photos as you can but next time you get out your phone to take a drunken selfie on a Friday night, pause for a while and make sure you’re loving that moment as much as you’re going to love it in memory.

Categories
Observations

Do an Attenborough, leave your scratch on the world

As the second series of Blue Planet came to an end a few months ago, host David Attenborough brought to the viewers attention the destruction that plastic causes to marine life, poisoning the oceans. He stressed, through the sad and eye-opening true life footage of suffering sealife, how important it is for us to act now and reduce the amount of plastic we use before it’s too late.

Since this show and Attenborough’s bold message, the reaction has been huge as acknowledgments of the fact that we need to dramatically reduce plastic to save our oceans splurge the media.

The supermarket Iceland have vowed to eliminate plastic from all of their own-brand goods, last night the BBC dedicated a section of The One Show to this topic, they’ve also banned single-use plastic along with so many more examples of people taking action. This is not to mention the amount of discussions I find myself in on a daily basis about how easily we could halve the plastic usage through more logical packaging and how my workplace as a small business in the country can make a contribution through reusable coffee cups as well.

Attenborough is in his nineties, he’s towards the end of a massive career having made a huge name for himself and impacted upon our knowledge about the natural world greatly and what we can do about conserving it. What better way to finish? To complete his career with such a stark insight that will in turn have a huge effect upon the future of the world.

Talking about this with my Dad over a few delicious cocktails the other evening, he made a poignant statement. He told my sister’s and I that he’s always told us, ‘if you do nothing else you’ve got to make sure you make your scratch on the world’ as David Attenborough has done here.

Not everyone is going to invent something new. I understand this. Not all of us will find a key piece of research into the cure for cancer or deliver a powerful message after a long and successful career which changes the way we all think, though I know my dad would love for us all to aspire to this.

It’s great to have huge ambitions, however, the important message that I took away from our conversation is that as long as you do something in life to make a difference to others then you’ve done it right.

Great, if your achievement is something huge (and you should always strive to achieve big) fantastic, but even if your mark is kindness and a good heart, well, that still counts. You may contribute to a huge discovery or be a part of a large conservation project or write a top novel, which are all incredible and should be celebrated. But helping others, helping strangers, giving advice, being generous, helping charity, changing someone’s perspective and many more small actions which occur daily should be commemorated too.

Whichever way you make your indent on the world and others around you just be conscious of doing so. As long as you can say in your ageing years that you’ve given to and got out of this world as much as you possibly could, then I personally think you’ve done a good job.

In the mean time though, do your best and think of alternatives to plastic.

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Review

The Greatest Showman, the greatest soundtrack

Granted I’m a bit late to the show, but last night I finally went to see what all this major hype was over the new film The Greatest Showman. Most people that I’ve talked to have been more than once, some have been four or five times. That’s almost fifty quid spent on their tickets alone. Not to mention the food and beverages consumed with it. Madness. With this knowledge though, I was ready to be impressed and knew I’d be highly disappointed if it didn’t live up to my steep expectations.

While writing this at my desk I have the soundtrack playing on repeat. It’s 9:25am and I’ve already listened through the entire track list three times. Once while getting ready and prancing around my room pretending that I can sing and dance, longing to be talented enough for the west end (just one performance, I think it’d be fun). The second listening came on my drive to town, blasting it out of my car stereo and, having now nailed the correct lyrics, singing at the top of my lungs not caring who’s looking in and laughing. The third now, while writing this with a big grin filling my face and happiness working it’s way down my veins.

If that last paragraph doesn’t scream out how much I loved the film, then while watching not once did I want it to end (despite being exhausted with backache), tears filled my eyes on numerous occasions and I wasn’t at all disturbed by the bearded lady that I had been forewarned about. In fact all I thought was what a cracking voice she has! Barnum’s (Hugh Jackman) two daughters were the cutest little girls and the first tears came during their rendition of ‘A Million Dreams’. More followed during Barnum’s casting and acceptance of the ‘oddities’, those not allowed to be seen in public even by their own parents – how dare they? Even more came when Barnum was being a sod and didn’t allow them into the upper class party so they stormed in singing anyway.

As you are probably fully aware now, I was very impressed. The show was great, the story very interesting and a good depiction of the time in which it was set, despite critics claiming that it doesn’t do the story-line justice nor effectively express the celebration of humanity. Yes, through a twenty-first century lens the actions of Barnum appear deranged and mean, the act of singling out black people as ‘odd’ is extremely racist and using these people’s peculiarities for his own financial benefit is cruel, but in my opinion that’s not the point of the film.

Personally I’m with the public on this one. The story is set in a completely different time to today, besides, if we don’t hang too tightly to the Barnum story, the film claims that he was doing a good thing in the view of his cast. That’s the message I take from it. He may have seen it as a money making ploy, but they saw it as a purpose and him giving them friends, even family that they’d have never found in society if it wasn’t for him. Plus he learns that he’s a bit of an arse eventually and changes his ways.

The message that no matter how different you are, you will always find your people, a group of people who love you and accept you for exactly who you are. That’s what I took away, and that’s why it’s such a feel-good film. Not to mention the eye candy in Hugh Jackman and Zac Effron, who I’ve not seen the sparkle in until this film. If you’ve not already been, go go go. I’m off to listen to every single song, all over again.

Categories
Review

The Sober Diaries and a very NOT sober me.

I’m thoroughly enjoying listening to The Sober Diaries by Claire Pooley while getting ready each morning or any other free time I find in my days (not much). I love an audiobook. I love how you can choose to sit and enjoy in peace or continue to listen while getting other stuff done at the same time and feeling a boss at multitasking while doing so.

The book was originally a series of blog posts by Claire who decided to go teetotal after realising quite how much alcohol she consumed daily and how much it was beginning to take over her life. Full of detailed research but also tremendous wit, Claire takes you through the stages of her noticing that things were getting bad and then her time without any drink at all.

She humorously tells stories of hiding the left-over bottle of red in the back of the cupboard away from the children and then fancying a tipple at 11am on a Sunday so using a mug to disguise the booze. She also discusses her denial about having a problem due to choosing classy drinks such as Chablis and declaring herself a connoisseur rather than a lush.

As well as these hilarious tales, Claire also shows thorough research into the topic of alcohol such as why ‘hair of the dog’ is called ‘hair of the dog’ and how drinking through a hangover seems to help with the logic that they use ethanol to cure ethanol poisoning. She also tells of body parts which are harmed by excessive alcohol consumption and how dangerous it can be to your physical and mental health leading to liver disease, depression and many more things.

Despite being interested and aware, I tend to tune out to the negatives because I love my wine and feel in control of my drinking (mostly). It does make me force myself to remember the last day I had without any alcohol though and when my memory fails me I just pour another glass.

Joking aside, the book is a witty and insightful glimpse into how alcohol can take over and change your life, as well as a comment on how much our society relies upon it for a good time like any time at all. So on that note I decided to come up with times it is entirely acceptable to drink a whole bottle of wine.

As you can probably tell I haven’t taken the main message from Claire’s book on board and still enjoy many a tipple throughout the week. It’s OK to do this. It’s OK to go to a pub on a Friday night and if there are two of you sharing a bottle you’ll obviously make sure that you have a minimum of two bottles. That’s one each and it’s only fair. Around friends houses the same applies. The non-tight arsed among us will usually bring a bottle when invited around friends so it’d be rude not to finish it.

When you come home after a long working day and open a bottle then realise there’s nobody else home to share with you so you finish the entire thing, that’s fine, an evening is a long amount of time. A celebration (and there’s always a reason to celebrate) that too is a perfectly acceptable time to drink the bottle to yourself along with (I’d imagine) much, much more. Dutch courage for the dance floor or before meeting your new date, those reasons are also just fine.

However, when you find yourself having a bottle before 9am or hiding the contents of last nights leftovers at the back of the cupboard to consume early the next morning disguised in a mug, then maybe have a rethink.

I’m not there yet, so will most definitely enjoy some of the good stuff tonight – cheers!