Very British things to do

As a nation, and a rather small one at that, we have many characteristics that are very, very British. Traits that to other countries seem ludicrous and unnecessary like the amount we seem to love queuing to the point that it could be classed as a talent. We even say to fellow queue-ers around us how hilarious it is that the Brits are always in queues. We queue at the airport, in traffic jams, sandwich shops and even the longest of bars where queues are not meant to happen.

Bizarre wastes of energy like the amount we moan. Moan about the weather, if it rains and if it shines. Too cold in the winter, far too hot as soon as the sun comes out. Moan about the price of stamps and how ridiculous it is when they increase by a few pence at a time. My gosh, how dare they? Moan in general all day. If you hear someone when you’re on holiday moaning then you can put money on them being a Brit. We moan about British people moaning and then continue to moan our days away.

Obscure ways to spend our free time like being rowdy drunks and drinking ourselves into oblivion every Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Coming away from a night out with mass injuries and embarrassment beyond compare. We say we’ll never do it again but I’m yet to meet someone who’s learnt that lesson.

Men and the amount they can talk about sport. Golf I find the most strange. They sit for hours on end watching, in my humble opinion, one of the dullest sports ever. I struggle to understand football too if I’m honest. Why guys have to sit and watch entire matches when they could just flick over to see the score from time to time, that’s all you really need to know. Isn’t it?

The amount we love our pets and make them our lives. I know there is a love for cute animals worldwide, but especially in the UK do we go nuts about dogs and EVERYONE knows a crazy cat lady. Some people spend more on getting their dogs groomed each month than they do on haircuts for their offspring. I’m pretty sure some people would give up their children over their dogs if it came to that.

Finding the correct change and hating ‘all those little bits’. What’s a five pence piece ever done to you? So often do I serve customers wanting to pay for five pounds worth of goods in shrapnel and so frequently do I find myself doing the same. The satisfaction you get when you get rid of the last of your coppers leaving an empty purse, only notes. It’s one of life’s greatest feelings. Almost.

Tea has got to be mentioned because drinking the good stuff is what we do best. We drink it from the minute we wake up until it’s an acceptable time to consume something alcoholic. If you go anywhere in public before 10AM on a week day you’ll here person after person saying how little they can function without their morning cuppa. It’s true, it’s needed. Afternoon tea with sandwiches and scones is also frightfully British. If you’ve never partaken in this activity then you need to reevaluate your nationality.

The ability to make the most of any sunshine that we get granted. The barbecues are retrieved from sheds, dust wiped off and ready to be put away again that evening when the rain begins. The holiday clothes come out shocked to be experiencing the heat of the homeland as opposed to that of Spain or Portugal. Supermarket shelves begin emptying as families flock to get supplies for the party, knowing this is the only chance they get and winter will be upon them before they can make the Pimms.

This brings me to another very British thing – Pimms. Yes that drink which is a must on any day where a speck of blue sky can be seen. Something to accompany the strawberries and cream at Wimbledon each year. Pimms o’clock becomes 24 hours when the fair weather kicks in.

So these are a few very British things. They contribute to making us a weird and wonderful, unique and special nation which I wouldn’t want to change at all.