Category: Observations

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations Writing

Social Media – a false existence.

On a personal level I find social media both brilliant and destructive.

It enables me to keep in contact with more friends than I would ever be able to without it and from all corners of the globe. It gives me an insight into the exciting travel adventures of others, let’s me read about inspiring people doing wonderful things and provides me with ideas about how to better my life.

However, it also gets me down on mundane days when I’m going about my quiet little life and others are dining with celebrities, climbing mountains and looking drop dead gorgeous.

I think we all know not to compare ourselves with others and that what people post on their social accounts is a warped view of reality. I like to think of myself as very real on my personal Facebook and Instagram accounts, not worrying too much about what I look like to the rest of the world, yet I can understand how people easily get swept under the false carpet.

Since I have become a part of the literary social world using my accounts as tools for writing inspiration, motivation and also (I hate to admit) publicity, I have had a very different experience of the virtual social world.

I started my writing Facebook page first on which I plugged my blog. This is still very much the case and an extremely useful tool in doing so. It is also linked to my fairly new Instagram.

This was started after a conversation with my sister who is a photographer about how to build a social following in attempt to promote my work in the future. All very innocent and necessary.

I had every intention from the beginning to keep the account as real as possible and simply portray a writer’s life. This went firmly out of the window almost immediately as I posed in Aldeburgh in front of my sister and her camera.

Elegantly reading my book on a wall, looking into the distance (as you do). Sitting on the beach wearing the hoodie from work and beside my dog pausing so well it’s as if I have told him to sit for the photo (which I absolutely had).

I was planning weeks of photos in advance. Putting them in order of which day I would post them and occasionally even writing out the caption that would go with them.

In fact it is very rare that I post a photo of what I am doing at the very moment I am doing it, no edits, reflecting my true writer’s life, warts and all.

I have heard well known celebrities talk about this on podcasts whereby they have such a strong presence on social media that there have been days when they post a feel good post while crying themselves silly on the sofa. There seems to be such pressure and no break that I can see how it could get intense.

I have backtracked slightly now (maybe because I am starting to get somewhere with my writing so no longer need to fake it), but still find it difficult to be entirely true yet remain professional.

Recently I have found putting a weekly theme to my feed gains authenticity because the photos are genuine recommendations of things I have genuinely done in the past and are clearly from the past. I am not claiming them to be me, now.

That all said though, for all the bad parts of social media, there are so many good things that it brings so of course I will still use it and hopefully become truer to myself every day.

It is an interesting topic of discussion in the modern world and why my main focus of book number 2 is both the damning and honest aspects to the vibrant social world!

Categories
Non-fiction Observations Writing

My Writing Season

I could say that my favourite writing season is in the spring with the dawn of a new year and the happiness of new life everywhere. Springlike scenes of snowdrops and lambs, the sound of young birds chirping at their mothers, asking to be fed.

I could say that my favourite writing season is the summer time bringing the warm outdoors and one of my preferred places in which to write. Content in my outside setup feeling the sun on my face and having lots of energy throughout the day. Longer days so I don’t feel so tired but rather inspired to write more with more ideas and a greater flow.

I could say that my favourite writing season is autumn, the colours on the trees bringing beautiful scenes to write about and describe. The darkening days and much more rain so there is plenty of time to sit inside and write.

I could say that my favourite writing season is winter with darkness filling the space so there is nothing to do but write. Though tiredness presents itself, when better to think up ideas but while falling asleep at night or waking up in the morning? Especially when outside is so black and the days aren’t very welcoming, encouraging you to stay in bed rather than get out of it.

Instead though, I’ll say that I have no favourite writing season but I certainly have times when I write best. The morning. The sunshine. High energy days. Low energy days. Days when I need to escape. Days when I must tell the world everything.

During the process of writing my first novel I initially planned to write a few chapters a week. Of course I did, I started in the spring! A month down the line and that plan had changed. Sometimes a chapter, occasionally two and sometimes not even half.

Writing inspiration appears in the most random ways, there is no structure at all. That is being a creative I suppose!

You never know when it’ll happen but when it does embrace it and write and write and write!

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

To anybody struggling…

To anybody struggling – you’ll have a lovely Christmas

To anybody finding things difficult – there are good days to come

To anybody wanting more – the best day of your life may not have happened yet

To anybody feeling anxious – one day your confidence will overrule

To anybody suffering – the rain will pass you by

To anybody worrying – it may not matter in the future of yours

To anybody fighting – you are stronger than you think

To anybody comparing – you don’t see the bad parts

To anybody not smiling – you have so much in life to smile about

To anybody hurting – it will get better

To anybody over doing it – take some time for you

To anybody fretting – weigh up what’s important

To anybody feeling empty – notice everything around you, appreciate

To anybody struggling – you have got this.

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations Review

Angels

Since dipping in and out of Lorna Byrne’s book, Angels in my Hair, I can say that I believe in angels. Think I’m daft? Hear me out.

My Grandad once said that: “all the good things you do in the world for other people are rewarded. Perhaps you don’t recognise the rewards because they do not come in material benefits; it might be a good feeling or the experience of just having a day when everything is going your way.” This is a quote that I cling on to and one that perfectly portrays my version of angels.

In Byrne’s book she describes various situations that could have ended horrifically yet didn’t due to something stopping the worse case scenario as if by chance. A girl doesn’t go out into the road to save her getting hit by the car; angels can be seen when Lorna goes on a shopping trip to Moore Street and her mother is told of a rotten apple within the ones she was about to buy; the angel Elijah even warns Lorna about her friend Joe’s impending disease.

Of course, these could all simply be luck playing its way into the lives of these fortunate few, however, and I strongly believe, if you think of it as angels preventing awful things happening, angels watching over us all constantly on the lookout, then life suddenly becomes that bit more magical.

I frequently drive up to traffic lights that instantly turn green (especially when I am in a rush) and look above briefly to thank the angels. The other day a coat was on sale, one left and in my size, I absolutely love it and each time I wear it I give thanks to the angels. While walking home alone in the dark and feeling (unnecessarily scared) I feel safer knowing that the angels are all around. When I get stressed and angry I take a moment to quietly ask the angels for strength to be a good person.

Too often in life we focus on the negative. If we are having a bad day then every tiny thing that goes wrong is the most awful thing in the world, angering us beyond measure. Yet if we have the same attitude to good things, as small as they may be, it can have a huge impact on our mood. By viewing these nuggets of goodness as angels being around, brings me more happiness and strength each day while muddling through life.

Mock me if you wish and it is a very personal belief (a very personal version of what to others might differ but still be angels) but if you feel inclined to learn more or would like an incredibly interesting read, certainly get your hands on Lorna Byrne’s book, it’s insightful and warming in every way.

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

I read because…

I read because I’m inspired

I read because I learn from it

I read because it gives me ideas

I read to relax

I read because it takes me to good places

I read because I love it

I read because it helps me sleep

I read because I slow down

I read because it shuts my head off

I read because I usually have a dog on my lap

I read because of imagination

I read because of invented worlds

I read because I want to know things

I read because it’s good for me

I read because I am lucky to be able to

I read for enjoyment

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

The Write Diet

Today is a good day because today I was told that I look slimmer! This is possibly the BEST compliment you could give to me EVER. Well, for today anyway.

I’m not vain, I’m just a typical girl; always wanting to be prettier, thinner, funnier etc. Since January I have been on a very half arsed version of what most would call a “diet”. In other words, I try not to eat the entire packet of Haribo followed by a two course meal and pudding. Here are some pointers from a very amateur dietitian.

  1. My desk is usually filled with unhealthy delights. Munchies are often found there, crisps, biscuits, fizzy drinks, tins of baked beans with sausages in (the best!!!!) – you name it, my desk contained it. Of course, to a certain extent this is OK and everything is fine in moderation (to quote the old adage) but this was also something I knew I could easily cut out.

    Working at a shop that sells all of these things, I found it hard clocking off from a six hour shift and heading to do some more (writing) work not to carry a selection of goodies with me. One word – WILLPOWER! That’s all it takes. By skipping the extra chocolate bar, the bag of crisps or the fizzy drink, I have not only lost a few pounds but also felt much better for it. Take a piece of fruit, drink water, there are always plenty of answers.
  2. Another huge helping factor in my (poor) efforts to maintain a lesser weight and become generally healthier has been AFD. Alcohol Free Days. Monday and Tuesday nights are, for me, (mostly) free. Occasionally I convince myself that a Gin & Tonic contains hardly any calories so what does it matter, but mostly I avoid the good stuff and feel slightly better, enjoying a huge glass when Wednesday evening comes around.
  3. Yoga is another part of my newly improved health and fitness regime and it is something that I have been fairly consistent at. Whether it’s the notion of the first alcoholic beverage of the week after class, or the sheer relaxation that I get from every session, I’m unsure. All I know is that I love it!
  4. I also try to walk everywhere that I can. My motto is if the distance can be reached on foot, then on foot I shall go. I ensure that I go on a half hour dog walk daily but I also make a conscious effort to walk wherever else I can. I am lucky in that my work is walking distance away as are many of my social events, but by walking that bit more and faster I am noticing healthier lungs as well as a healthier waistline.

Editing this post some time on I can safely say that I am by NO MEANS an expert in all of this. Today is Tuesday. I drank half a bottle of white last night, I plan to drink this evening and so far in October I have attended zero yoga classes because instead of the healthy option of Stoptober (quitting booze for a month) I have decided to STOP yoga.

Nobody’s perfect, right?

Categories
fiction Observations Writing

A house, who’s lived in it?

The sixties housewife who spent her days swamped in chores,
Her husband who was always ranting each time he came through the doors.
Their three little children, so well behaved,
Then the old man’s father before he went to the grave.

The eighties rock chick, dressed in fluorescent colours,
Her many boyfriends and the rest were just lovers.
A friendly Labrador who obeyed her every request,
She loved this dog and he loved her, for they are the very best.

Then the nineties came and brought in a new clan,
Just a couple and their baby who sat in his pram.
The mother was lucky and didn’t have to work,
While the garden expanded and the baby played in the dirt.

The family moved when the millennium struck,
Father Dixon came into a bit of luck.
Next came a gambler, his name was Phil,
He didn’t last long, bill after bill.

2003 brought another family but the children soon fled,
Margaret and James swear that they will still live here when they are dead.
I always think each time I look at the brick,
Here’s a house, somebody’s home, but who’s lived in it?

Categories
Non-fiction Observations Writing

The Write Mood

Aspiring to be a writer is a tricky thing. Not only does it take time and effort, but it takes a strong and confident mindset too. This is something that I sometimes forget to have.

I firmly believe (and know from experience) that being in my twenties is tough. I’m not yet settled, I am single, I don’t own a house, I have no responsibilities, no notion of the future and a constant comparison to others. Whether this is going to be the case throughout my life, I am yet to find out, but all I know is this stage of life in contrast to younger years.

My mood towards life and my future goes in a pattern of waves. Sometimes I am full of energy and can’t write fast enough for all the projects that I have on the go. Sometimes I write five blog posts in an hour, a novel in six months and tiredness never comes into it because I’m so passionate. I know I’ll succeed and take every bit of feedback, every rejection, every personal opinion asking me what I’m “actually doing with my life” in a positive light and strive for a bright future ahead of me.

Other times I have no motivation, I feel overwhelmed with my workload, I have a novel on hold for six months and I feel completely tired all of the time. I take every nugget of advice as criticism, I doubt my every move, all rejection is a black hole and I feel skeptical about the whole thing.

Being a creative, I have the tendency to exaggerate. The other day I woke in the stormy weather to realise that my car windows were open and my key was at my friend’s house. Knowing I couldn’t close it without a key, I thought up the most unrealistic and extreme scenario that I could and concluded that my car would be struck by lightning, the water would cause an explosion which would set alight my grass, our house and then the entire neighborhood. Of course, I was wrong. This is the mind of a writer after all.

I have to remember this when I’m thinking about my future too. I will think up the worst case scenarios and fixate on them which is dangerous. I’ll always be single, I’ll never afford to buy a house, I won’t ever get published. What am I doing?

My busy brain got the better of me one morning last week and to shut it up I meditated. Whether meditation is for you or not, I think it teaches a huge skill in life. That skill is pretty much not to think too much and to live fully in the moment.

Think about things to a certain extent, but not too much that it removes a passion, or happiness, or peace. When things get too much – stop. Focus on the moment, enjoy the here and now, count your blessings and live.

Categories
Non-fiction Observations Writing

My Writing Space: what it means to me

If I have learnt nothing else from my time as an aspiring writer it’s that if the space in which I am trying to write in isn’t right then, I am not going to get a lot of writing done.

Sometimes I choose my desk. On it there is a radio, some twinkling fairy lights inside a glass jar (pointless but important), a photo of my Grandad and I at my 21st, candles, place mats, my laptop and an owl pot filled with corks and stones (again, totally useless but crucial).

From my desk I can look out to a view over fields. In the summer this view is gorgeously clear, blue skies and greenery. Occasionally it is blurred through the raindrops hitting the window, but that just makes me more thankful that I am inside and at my desk. On a good winters day the view is spectacularly white from frost or snow and it is, especially when writing, one of my favorite views.

Sometimes I choose the sofa. Since getting our puppy who is extremely lovable if not a little bit of a distraction, I struggle to work upstairs at my desk if nobody else is around. This is why I have acquired a new working space on the corner sofa that is so comfortable that if hungover I simply sleep and no words are written. Sometimes my feet are up, sometimes they are not but always my slippers are on. My dog, Arkley, likes to nestle in between me and my laptop on my lap, listening intently to me reading short stories aloud while editing them.

Sometimes I choose outside. When the weather is being nice, I just have to work outdoors. There is a little bench in my garden and the sun is guartuneed to shine on one seat. That is the seat I choose to sit at. I lay everything out as if on my desk; my laptop, diary, coffee and usually another sugary beverage to spark up some extra motivation. Here, I enjoy the warmth while producing more material.

Then there’s my other place. A house of my friends which I find so special when it comes to my writing. I discovered while house sitting there that it had a good effect on my writing. New ideas flowed and the motivation lingered so that I just couldn’t stop. Whether it was changing my space or something in the air over that pocket of land, I’m not sure, but there is something in it that means a lot to me and my work.

One day, I know (hope) I live in a wonderful house looking out over a lake because water too helps me and my words. Whenever I got to the beach even if I don’t intend to, I write or note down so many ideas which flow out of my overwhelmed mind. Being by water is certainly something for the soul, but it helps my writing too.

So as pernickety as this all may sound, these are the spaces in which I like to write and they are very special to me.

Categories
Non-fiction Observations Writing

Keeping up with the socials

Being a young person isn’t easy. Being a person isn’t always easy. Particularly if that person is starting out a business or a new career through which social media is essential.

In this day and age many people can’t go to the toilet without announcing it on Facebook. They can’t go to the supermarket and bag themselves a bargain without a Tweet to say how fabulous they feel. They can’t sit and do some work without capturing the setup of their laptop, coffee and diary in a structured fashion. I am a huge culprit of this.

I would be lying if I said all of what you see on my social media accounts is the reality. Of course I edit photos from nights out, I big up scenarios to make them sound better than they were and I comment on other people’s feeds far more enthusiastically and witty than I would be if in conversation with them in real life.

Above all in the hyper-reality league table come my writing social feeds. Since aspiring to be an author and realising fast that a lot of the publicity would be up to me whether I self publish or get signed by an agent, I set up a Facebook page, a blog, an Instagram site and a Twitter account all dedicated to my life as an aspiring writer.

Instantly the followers crept in as did the supportive messages from other like-minded individuals. The trouble was that I soon realised I needed to be posting a lot more than I did (and that still needs to be increased).

After having my Instagram account for a week and posting every three days, I knew instantly that I needed to increase that to every day. My blog, Twitter and Facebook feeds are works in progress too as I desperately try to increase my activity (and find the time to do so).

This task sounds easy to some but trust me it is a lot more difficult than you would think. Firstly figuring out what to post about and which images to use is a tricky task, but being motivated and in the mood to post all the time is another thing altogether.

I have been known to post about my fabulously sunny afternoon (#Friyay) making me so happy while in floods of tears, severely hormonal. I have been known to post a sunny idyllic setup, when in fact I am in bed. I have been known to make my views about something sound exceedingly positive when I am breaking inside with negativity over it.

However, it isn’t all doom and gloom. I am getting the hang of it and trying to be ever more real with all of my feeds while also coming across so many other accounts where people are doing great.

Ultimately, I find social media a positive tool in business and careers. Judging by the accounts I follow and from talking to friends I think it’s comforting to people going through health issues and such like, writing about their situation, inspiring others and gaining a boost through those who are suffering with them. I think it’s encouraging to those training for a big event and using social media for advice, enthusiasm and good vibes. It’s also good to know that so many people support you and most only wish you well.

So, while using social networks for publicity of career aspirations, awareness around health issues, or support for a big event is a struggle, a full time job and difficult to increase a following when you’re a nobody, social media is (mostly) brilliant for this!

(In my opinion)