Categories
Review

The Sober Diaries and a very NOT sober me.

Red wine pouring into wine glass, close-up

I’m thoroughly enjoying listening to The Sober Diaries by Claire Pooley while getting ready each morning or any other free time I find in my days (not much). I love an audiobook. I love how you can choose to sit and enjoy in peace or continue to listen while getting other stuff done at the same time and feeling a boss at multitasking while doing so.

The book was originally a series of blog posts by Claire who decided to go teetotal after realising quite how much alcohol she consumed daily and how much it was beginning to take over her life. Full of detailed research but also tremendous wit, Claire takes you through the stages of her noticing that things were getting bad and then her time without any drink at all.

She humorously tells stories of hiding the left-over bottle of red in the back of the cupboard away from the children and then fancying a tipple at 11am on a Sunday so using a mug to disguise the booze. She also discusses her denial about having a problem due to choosing classy drinks such as Chablis and declaring herself a connoisseur rather than a lush.

As well as these hilarious tales, Claire also shows thorough research into the topic of alcohol such as why ‘hair of the dog’ is called ‘hair of the dog’ and how drinking through a hangover seems to help with the logic that they use ethanol to cure ethanol poisoning. She also tells of body parts which are harmed by excessive alcohol consumption and how dangerous it can be to your physical and mental health leading to liver disease, depression and many more things.

Despite being interested and aware, I tend to tune out to the negatives because I love my wine and feel in control of my drinking (mostly). It does make me force myself to remember the last day I had without any alcohol though and when my memory fails me I just pour another glass.

Joking aside, the book is a witty and insightful glimpse into how alcohol can take over and change your life, as well as a comment on how much our society relies upon it for a good time like any time at all. So on that note I decided to come up with times it is entirely acceptable to drink a whole bottle of wine.

As you can probably tell I haven’t taken the main message from Claire’s book on board and still enjoy many a tipple throughout the week. It’s OK to do this. It’s OK to go to a pub on a Friday night and if there are two of you sharing a bottle you’ll obviously make sure that you have a minimum of two bottles. That’s one each and it’s only fair. Around friends houses the same applies. The non-tight arsed among us will usually bring a bottle when invited around friends so it’d be rude not to finish it.

When you come home after a long working day and open a bottle then realise there’s nobody else home to share with you so you finish the entire thing, that’s fine, an evening is a long amount of time. A celebration (and there’s always a reason to celebrate) that too is a perfectly acceptable time to drink the bottle to yourself along with (I’d imagine) much, much more. Dutch courage for the dance floor or before meeting your new date, those reasons are also just fine.

However, when you find yourself having a bottle before 9am or hiding the contents of last nights leftovers at the back of the cupboard to consume early the next morning disguised in a mug, then maybe have a rethink.

I’m not there yet, so will most definitely enjoy some of the good stuff tonight – cheers!

Categories
Adulthood

A note to me at fifty.

Advice is something we take for granted, sometimes even ignore. I find that I get bits of advice from all sorts of people at varying stages of life and I get it all the time. Although very different, all of the direction that I get is equally helpful and I’ve found myself recently creating a virtual folder in my memory full of pointers to help me.

  1. Always have a radio on when home alone
  2. Set realistic goals

These two came to me this morning while I was drying my hair which is also when I decided to write it all down. I’ve often thought about writing a note each year that I enter a new decade filled with advice from me in the present to my children, nieces, nephews (whatever life brings me) to read in the future when they turn that age. The idea of giving help to your past self, making sense of everything in that moment while you’re in it rather than trying to remember years down the line. Attempting to recollect how you felt, what you worried about, what bothered you and what mattered. Writing it down now will provide much roarer guidance to those who need it whenever they do, rather than relying on a failing memory in years to come.

3. listen to the radio more in general, it’s relaxing and informative
4. take each week as it comes

The list currently seems very random with no logical order but each point is valid and something I think about often. Throughout my life my Mum has always had a radio quietly playing in the background. She says it’s to keep the animals entertained while we’re all out at school and work which is true. I’m sure they love it. However, there is also something very comforting about having a bit of background noise and something very eery about not.

I find that noise links to productivity too despite being the worst at working with any sound whatsoever. I get so easily distracted that I’ve never understood people who can sit at a library desk with music blaring through their headphones because I’d end up singing along and typing the words I heard. Still, if the radio is on at the right volume level so I don’t really listen but can still hear, it helps me to concentrate more than in silence (something I failed to discover while at university).

While we’re on the topic, I’ve also decided to listen to the radio more. Sometimes there’s nothing more relaxing than shutting off for an hour and listening to a play. Not having to read anything, you can even close your eyes, just focus and chill. The interesting discussions about current news stories or fascinating research that are had reel me in and I just think why not sit in peace and listen. I learn a lot from it too which is a bonus and can still do things at the same time if needed – win win! Finding ways to relax and put your mind at peace so that you can focus on the story and not think about your worries is key and a blessing.

5. focus on others and their happiness, you’ll see benefits and feel good
6. listen more, you’ll ask less questions

As I go about my days trying to find my feet in the world I find that certain bits of guidance I’ve been given from others and learnt through experiences is repeated. These are the things that I note. Setting realistic goals is definitely up there and slides nicely together with taking each week as it comes. This applies to everything in life, it’s a coping mechanism and highlights the importance of not overwhelming yourself. As soon as you pile too much on you’ll become fatigued and not perform at your best. It’s much more productive to break it down into bite size pieces so that you can achieve and to your best potential.

I find another thing I tell myself often is about putting others first. Most people will have said to themselves probably more than once that they do this too much and never think about them. However, I think there’s so much good in putting others first and it brings joy to you. As much as you think that you’re constantly doing this and never thinking of yourself, we humans tend to talk about ourselves a lot, talk over others and forget to listen. Which brings me to my next topic. Listening. This is so important and a skill that has to be learnt. Nobody is expert at it and practise helps but once you listen more you’ll find your life less stressful because you’ll learn a lot more from others and find yourself asking less questions.

7. smile at strangers
8. Always allow room for new lessons

So as I continue through my twenties at the very start of a long and exciting life ahead, I’m beginning to be consciously aware of the advice given to me by friends and family and learnt through experiences that I have. Whether I end up sticking to my plan of writing a letter each decade or save it for one hefty ‘note to self’ at fifty full of epic advice which can be passed on to younger people will only be told by time, but I know for sure that I’m learning every single day.

Currently, as you’ll be able to figure after reading this post, my list is very messy at the moment, it’s getting lengthier by the second too, but over time I’ll be able to organise my mental folder and make a snappy list to live by made up of advice from all over the place. From many different people and during many different times in my little life.

 

Categories
Adulthood

If there’s an instruction manual to life, please pass it my way.

A new oven will come with an instruction manual guiding you how to use it. Press this button to switch it on. This setting is best for these types of meals. If you go to Ikea or another home store and buy a book shelf for your office, this too will be accompanied by a booklet both telling and showing you how to build it. Tablets will have instructions inside the packaging about how to take them safely and correctly so that you get the results that you need. A new car will always have a user guide placed neatly in the glove box.

After all it’s what you’re paying for, you’d complain if these important sets of information were left out. In fact, most things come with directions except one thing and that is life itself.

A friend pointed out to me recently how there is no handbook to the in between phase of life at around eighteen until twenty-five. No booklet telling you how to transition from childhood to adulthood. You grow up, go to school, get a job or continue with further study and suddenly you’re an adult and expected to just know despite there being no written guide to adulthood either. You’ve got to know things such as managing stress and enjoying life. You’ve got to figure out how to choose a career and secure a job which gives you an income that you’ll be able to survive on. You must know all about mortgages and bills, know how to appropriately act all the time, know how to be happy.

A lot of these can be helped by talking to parents or relatives and having support from friends and loved ones, but it all seems quite daunting nonetheless. Besides, there are countless aspects of life that are complicated and cannot be taught (or ever fully mastered). There are situations that you’re supposed to understand such as why good people die so young, why we must be nice to bad people and why those who have everything are still so sad. Why someone who never smoked or drank is taken early from this world, yet someone who smoked since they were eight years old is still going strong at one hundred.

We’re supposed to understand about living in the moment and loving it because our own mortality is real. This is still meant to happen on days when we’re not feeling in an enjoyable mood and can’t see a way of changing that. How people can be so cruel to animals and other humans. Sods law and how it’s true every time. We’ve got to work out where the last year has gone and how it’s already almost February (tricky stuff).

Love in general is a difficult thing to grasp. Relationships too and why we’re fonder of some people than others. Friendship and how we randomly select a group of humans who appeal to us and stick with them (hopefully) for most of our lifetime. Marriage; why some last and some fall apart, how do we find the one and how long do we have to wait? Families and their huge complexities. I could continue, but I won’t.

Social encounters can complicate matters further. We are expected to act in certain ways in one set of company and entirely differently in another. We must bite our tongues often and not get cross about little things people say or do, it’s not worth it. Always smile in public even when we’re feeling in the lowest mood we’ve ever felt because most people aren’t close enough to care. Then when we’re alone again we will analyse our every move and be embarrassed at certain things we said or messing up because we’re not perfect and all make mistakes.

Then comes the little questions that we consider all the time like why some days we feel so exhausted for no reason yet on others when we should be tired after a late night we feel fine. Why we can go to the pub and drink three bottles of wine followed by two gins, stay up until 3 and feel good at work the next morning, but sometimes just have a bottle at home and feel rotten the next day. Why we constantly apologise for who we are to people who don’t need an apology and love us regardless The list goes on and on.

There are lots of subjective topics in this world that we will never understand and that can’t be taught. Life is ridiculously involved. However, when things become a little overwhelming occasionally, don’t fret. It’s a huge thing our existence and nobody gets it totally right ever. Trying your best is all that you can do, I’m sure you’re doing a great job so keep going.

Categories
Observations

Things we do “just in case”

How often do you find yourself saying those three words ‘just in case’? Water by the bed just in case you get thirsty in the night. An extra layer on a walk just in case it’s needed (you can always take it off). A full biscuit tin just in case unexpected guests arrive. A spare pair of knickers in your handbag…girls. Sounding familiar? The list goes on and on.

It’s another of those funny human traits that we’ve adopted over time and we all do it. I got in the car the other night after babysitting. It was icy and dark to make the atmosphere that bit more scary, but in reality I was just being a wimp. The house that I was at was huge, had lots of security and is located in a tiny little village in Cambridgeshire so regardless, the likeliness of my fears being real was very low.

However, I was still convinced someone had got in my car while I’d been inside and that they were ready to kill. So adamant that I felt the need to shine my phone torch through the back seat to see if anyone had climbed in, ready to stab me on the journey home. I then got in, sat with the engine on in attempt to de-ice the vehicle and was constantly checking back, despite having already checked once, to see that nobody was hiding right under the seat where I couldn’t see them.

It’s always funny during times like Christmas or periods of bad weather conditions when people flock to the supermarkets to buy everything just in case. Or when entertaining, the amount of extra bottles of this and that that we buy just in case so and so has a drink, though they’ll probably be driving. Going for a wee before bed in case you need it in the night. Or before the cinema, or long car journeys, or whenever leaving the house to do anything really, let’s be honest. A brolly in the bag in case it rains.

Most of these make total sense and, though an example of human paranoia, they can be forgiven. Some instances however, are totally bizarre. For example, buying extra birthday presents and having the odd spare card, for both girl and boy, in case you forget someone’s birthday and need an emergency ‘little something’. Does this not defeat the whole generosity and thought behind the giving of cards and gifts. The point being that you went out of your way and openly thought of them on this special occasion. That’s what it’s meant to show, not that you have a sneaky stash that you can pounce on, say ‘that’ll do’ and give to anybody that you’ve forgotten.

Superstitions are another peculiar one and I’m the worst for letting these control me. Never in my life have I walked under a ladder, I always salute lone Magpies at the side of the road and no way will I step on three drains on the pavement. In fact I feel so passionately that this will bring me bad luck that I have in the past launched myself into people in order to avoid the horrid things.

Another one that I can’t shake is when I’m watching tele or listening to the radio and if the volume isn’t on an even number then my mind goes berserk. I can’t concentrate until I’ve changed it. There is absolutely no logic behind this action and I realise this, but I can’t help myself.

So why? Why do we hone in on the bad luck these irrelevant actions will bring. Why do we touch wood for good luck or feel blessed when a black cat crosses our path. I don’t really think anything will happen but my brain tells me otherwise so I just tend to go with it.

As I said, many of the above are logical and merely show how prepared and organised we can be, others just reek irrationality. It’s a question I’m throwing out there to which I certainly know no answer, but why do we do all of these things ‘just in case’? I know I’ll continue to do so and so will you.

 

 

Categories
Adulthood

Give yourself some self care daily, trust me, you need it!

I think everybody gets into a rut from time to time, thinking that all they do is work and when they’re not working then it’s chores or something else. Sometimes this rut lasts an hour, sometimes a day, maybe even a week and it happens to us all.

Life seems to fill up quickly with stuff and even if some of that stuff is having a few glasses with good friends on an evening, it’s still tiring. We all need time out and we all need to take care of ourselves.

Personally, I suck at this, I’ll be honest with you. As any of you who regularly read my blog know, I’m currently in that strange limbo stage of life before real life. If you don’t know what I mean by this, then I shall explain.

I’ve graduated and am no longer a student. I have a job and a very comfortable life. A job that is flexible and that I thoroughly enjoy to the point that I don’t feel like it’s work (until I sit down at the end of a shift with a glass of wine and feel exhausted). However, I need to pursue my career, I need to reach out and use the skills obtained from my degree and do what I love – write.

I work at my job six days a week. During the time in between shifts, before shifts and sometimes after closing in the evenings I will be writing, searching, having chats with people in fields that interest me, getting as much advice and guidance as I can and stressing about the future. When this isn’t true is when I’ve found a window of time where I manage to fit in seeing friends and family, or having a well earned drink at the end of the week. I rarely fill my time pampering myself or reading or stopping to have a breather and if I do then it’s usually accompanied by a mind buzzing with stress.

I didn’t realise quite how bad I was at self-care until I had a chat with my sister on the way to a friends the other day (of course). She told me how I fit too much into my life and don’t allow for breaks or breathing space. Since then I’ve consciously factored in an hour to read or listen to music or watch rubbish TV each day, where I don’t allow myself to think about anything else.

On days when I don’t have to get up to a certain time, I let my body wake when it’s ready and set no alarms. When I go on my daily walks with a friend I try not to only rant and moan about graduate life, but talk of all sorts and avoid the topic where I can. But of course it does help to discuss these things with people who care. By deliberately slowing the pace of living for an hour or so each day, which I still haven’t mastered, I think I’m getting better at shutting off from it all to give my body and mind a break, and when I come back to my laptop, I do feel that bit more refreshed.

No matter how you decide to relax make sure that you put time aside every week to do so. Whether it’s a couple of hours one evening laying in bed, candles surrounding you and your nose in a book. Or listening to your favorite weekly radio show. Maybe you just want to plant your arse on the sofa and indulge in some reality TV. Whatever it is, it needs to be done.

Too often do we forget to take good care of ourselves while rushing through life, trying to earn enough money, maintain social encounters, look after loved ones, stay focused and eat well. We forget that our bodies get exhausted just living and they need as much time out as our brains do. When filling up your diary or writing out your to-do lists include caring for yourself and be sure to tick it off each day. This is often forgotten or neglected slightly and this needs to change.

No matter how much free time we seem to have, we manage to fill it with visiting friends or just busying about and we forget to actually stop. This doesn’t incorporate stopping at a friends or stopping at the pub. No, I mean stopping full stop. Having time that is just for you and doing something to help your body and mind unwind and relax. Nobody, no matter how similar to Duracell you think you are, can keep going 24/7, every body needs respite from life.

In the long run, giving yourself some well earned time out here and there will make your time doing things much more productive. Whatever needs to get finished, no matter how large or small, can always wait an extra hour so that your body can revamp. Whichever stage of life you are in, a bit of tender loving care is a must. Here are some tips to get you started.

Categories
Observations

A very ‘Blue Monday’ and the weather to fit it!

Ever heard of the condition SAD? Seasonal affective disorder, that one. Ever thought upon hearing about it that it’s just a myth and nobody actually suffers from it? Well, if you open your eyes during the months of January and February it doesn’t take much to understand how real this condition is.

Over the past two weeks I’ve found my mood fluctuating massively. Mostly during the afternoon when I come over extremely tired and feeling a bit miserable. I realise my highly sugary diet which I’m blaming Christmas for (though I know I should have snapped out of it by now) doesn’t help, but nor does this awful weather. Some days I feel that I haven’t seen daylight at all and it starts getting dark at around 2pm (if it ever got light in the first place).

I look outside of the window each morning hoping for one of those extra crisp and bright winters days. You know the kind; clear blue skies, sunshine, maybe a touch of frost too if we’re lucky. Bliss. But no. Not one. In fact the other day for the first time all winter, all four tables outside the little shop that I work at were filled with people enjoying warm beverages and it made me so happy. It’s the little things! But it did. They had blankets, of course, but it was that bit of brightness that brought them all out and brought the village to life again. That was one day.

Then continued the gloomy dark days of January for another week. People constantly discussing how dreadful it is to be outside, telling you how many degrees Celsius it is (not that you want to be reminded) and informing you that it’s just started raining…again.

It’s a fact that the weather affects your mood and it takes no scientist to figure that one out. Yesterday, I awoke to darkness and rain drops covering my window. That’s how it was for the entire day. It didn’t help that yesterday was ‘blue Monday‘, deemed the most depressing day of the year because everybody’s back at work, realising that the holiday season is well and truly over and most are also out of budget due to an expensive December, but I for one felt miserable. I know that my misery was due to the weather and no matter how hard you try to avoid it affecting your whole mood, it does. You look outside for a bit of cheeriness on days that you don’t feel so chipper and it doesn’t help if outdoors looks as gloomy as you feel.

On the other hand, this morning I awoke to clear blue skies, bright sunshine and the day began with a huge smile filling my face. I instantly wanted to get out of bed and get on with everything that I had to do. That’s right, good weather makes you want to do stuff. I felt good walking to work after a productive morning. I felt good at work and didn’t come over with that dreary tiredness that I’d been feeling for the rest of the typically solemn January days that have recently passed. Sunshine brings happiness, rain makes you downhearted – fact. Especially when it’s rain accompanied by darkness and you feel as though this may be the end of life on earth. Dramatic? Maybe slightly, but I’m sure you’ve had similar thoughts regarding rubbish winter weather before.

So, let’s hope for more days like the one captured above during the first two months of the year, less of the darkness and less of the rain. May the sunshine be welcomed and remain for as long as the days drag out but if not, then bring on the spring!

Categories
Adulthood

Put the brakes on, you’re going too fast

So often do you hear the saying “life is short” and so often do you see people in this modern age rushing around like mad things trying to keep up with the pace of the ticking clock. The saying is true there is no doubt about it and in the grand scheme of the Earth’s existence, each individual tiny speck of life is absolutely minuscule. However, it’s establishing when and when not to take this so literally, when it can come in useful and when it needs to be put aside.

What I am trying to express, and I suppose it’s a long winded way of acknowledging the truth within the statement, is that too often we panic about getting everything right. We stress over what people will think and worry about things that won’t matter in a few years time. We fail to slow down and appreciate what we have in front of us. We fail to notice the beauty outside our window, or the small good things that happen every day because we’re busy focusing too far ahead and rushing through this crazy thing that we call life.

A day spent fretting about whether you’re doing the right thing, living the right way, being the correct version of yourself for all situations, that is when the saying can be taken off the shelf and considered. This is when it is true. When you leave a social situation and spend the whole day worrying that you said the wrong thing, that you offended someone and that your hair looked a mess. This is when you need to consider what is worth dedicating time to for worry and what needs to be given the shove because life is short.

While you sit and worry about things that cannot be changed like what the future holds, that’s when it can be disregarded for the time being. Nobody knows and there is no point attempting to figure it out, you just need to remain calm. You can brush it aside when you’re putting pressure on yourself constantly to fit the mold, to find a secure career of a lifetime, to find a partner, to settle, to do it all by the book and to do it all by the ripe age of twenty-five. Life may be short, but time isn’t quite that pressing and life doesn’t have to be so much of a race. Fear not, you do have time.

Too often do we visit someone’s house and think about how much we have to do the next day, failing to love the moment that we’re currently in, enjoying being alive surrounded by fabulous people. Too often we speedily get out of a car and rush home to get on with our lengthy list, forgetting to notice the luscious smell of a household cooking a roast dinner on a Sunday lunchtime, dismissing the fact that the walk home is through a lovely country village. Too often we fill up our time with so much stuff that we can’t fit in moments to stop, to slow down and to admire everything with all that we have.

It’s sometimes not until you hear some startling news, something to shake things up a bit, to put your troubles into perspective when you realise just how lucky we are. You rarely hear people say that, how lucky we are. Slow down, put the brakes on. Life may be short but it’ll seem a lot shorter if you continue to rush around, panicking, failing to notice the beauty both in the natural world and in the people we love all around us every single day.

Remember this next time you’re panicking, worrying about timelines and limits, looking at everyone else, wanting to keep up and trying to get everything done but not having enough hours in the day to do so. Take a step back, relax and know that though life is short, there is always time to cherish and appreciate all that it contains and just be happy in that one tiny moment. In the chaos of life, everybody needs a break, allow for this, always and remember in your snippet of worry, there is always a perspective in which it can be placed.

Categories
Observations

Social Media: the good, the bad and that’s how it is

We’ve all had that moment when the list of everything that we have to complete that day is buzzing around our head, but it’s OK because it’s only…MIDDAY? How did that happen? Then, we look into the palm of our hand and see our fingers scrolling through post after post on Facebook. Most of which we’ve already seen or read but we may as well waste more time and read it again, right? This activity is definitely more common in younger people, but I am certainly not accepting that this only happens to people born after 1994. Yes, the social media bug has sifted its way through generations and even my Grandad ‘loves’ posts on Facebook and knows about my graduation before I’ve rang him to have the old fashioned conversation.

I’m not saying that my Grandad and others in their seventies and eighties reach for their phone to see updates first thing and that it’s the last thing they see before going to sleep at night, but it is contagious and it’s definitely catching.

You always hear negatives surrounding social media and how bad it is for kids. Yes, there are so many dangerous issues that come with this media platform but I think that it brings good to the world as well.

I understand that children who are far too young have access to things that would never have been accessible back in 1970 when playing outdoors in the mud was all kids did. I get that it leads to cyber-bullying and depression in young people because they can see conversations between friends that they’d never have seen before. The bullies can hide behind screens and write nasty messages that they’d be too cowardly to say in person. People who suffer conditions such as eating disorders can read hurtful comments from people who don’t know but feel they need to voice their unbalanced and uninformed opinion all over the internet. They have access to profiles of people with similar illnesses who feel they’re trying to help but are making a bad situation worse by highlighting calorie counting and feeling good after starving yourself for three days.

It removes the need for face-to-face conversation because it’s easier to type out a message and not have to immediately respond. There is a huge lack of emotional connection and some young people are finding it more and more difficult to effectively communicate nowadays because often they go for hours, days, weeks without saying a word, only through social media do they talk to people. It almost removes the humanity from our veins, talking like robots through machines, getting rid of emotion and closeness, being so blunt and misreading messages that are intended on being conveyed differently.

Taking all of the above on board but flipping it around, there are also many benefits that social media brings to the world. It creates a huge space for marketing and networking and is used by businesses everywhere for promotion. Companies can source masses of traffic and increase the awareness about themselves by boosting posts on Facebook, creating advertisements and targeting the correct audience for what they are trying to publicize.

Not only for business though, social media can also be beneficial on a personal level. I often find myself chuckling away at the upbeat memes and sayings plastered over my newsfeed. I often find myself smiling at lovely pictures of friends that I haven’t seen for a while but are doing great. People that I’ve met on travels around the world and find it’s impossible to stay in constant contact with yet I feel like we do virtually through ‘likes’ and comments on posts, always knowing roughly what each other are up to. When I was visiting places as far away as New Zealand for a few months, Facebook and Instagram allowed me to instantly show my loved ones that I was having a great time and was, most importantly, safe. So many families are separated nowadays due to all living in different countries and social media can bring them closer and keep them in touch too. You’d never have had that thirty years ago.

So for all its faults, there is a lot of good that comes with this thing we call social media. As long as we are careful and continue to stop some of the awful things that can occur because of its bad points, we have to accept that nowadays it is simply a part of our existence and will continue to be that way until something more wacky is invented.

Categories
Observations

Merry Fauxmas and a Happy New Year!

I love the festive season and everything that comes with it. Joyful faces, hilarious panics to get everything you need when in reality the only thing you cannot forget is the turkey, the parties, the food…even the music doesn’t get on my nerves too much. Then, each year when it’s all over, that one day, I think to myself – really?

I was wandering around Waitrose the day after Boxing Day and laughed at how quiet and empty it was compared to Christmas Eve. The shelves full of reductions because they’ve obviously panic-ordered too. The calmness that filled the shop and how much time has passed – two days? I just wanted a pan au chocolat and some wine and was in and out in a flash, stress free. The total opposite scenario to Christmas Eve.

It’s laughable how much hype is involved for just one day. All the preparations and anxieties to be over in 24 hours. Not even 24 hours, more like 12 at a push because everyone is in a food coma by 7pm, let’s be honest. We all picture the most magical day, happy families, joyful greetings in the pub before we leave, the snowy white outdoors when actually it’s the total opposite. Every family has their dramas. Auntie Sal has never liked Grandad and Tony hates Barbara’s children. Dave always buys the same rubbish presents and get ready for pretend smiles when you all greet Uncle knob-head!

I’m no bah-humbug but it’s always the same. At the pub on Christmas Eve when talking with everybody, the same old conversation that go something like: “what are you doing for Christmas? Staying home?” T

here’s guaranteed to be one family unhappy with their plans. One family member moaning about another. False niceties between two people who you know hate each other but ‘because it’s Christmas’ they’ve got to share joy and glee and kindness. I sound awful, I’m just painting a true image.

I had a lovely Christmas this year but it wasn’t shy of arguments. I thought to myself when walking through the village with my sister at half past ten on Christmas night (yes we had skipped the food coma entirely) how it was all over for another year and that’s such a strange feeling. It’s like New Year’s Eve, another one where whatever mood you are in and however you feel, you have to be ecstatic and having a great time. Some days I want to lay on the sofa watching crap or reading my book and speak to nobody. Some nights I can’t be bothered to go out as I’m just not in the mood. No real reasons just because, but these two occasions in particular don’t allow for this. Another one of societies weird features.

Then, when it’s all over you get the questions “did you have a nice time” and regardless you have to answer that it was lovely. Nobody wants to hear about the hiccups and hating of false encounters and tiredness and not feeling 100% in good health.

This post isn’t intended to demolish everything good about Christmas as I do love it really, I’m just merely expressing how fake the whole shabbang can be. However, as long as you know you’re faking it and I know I’m faking it, we’ll do it again next year…and the next!

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Observations

Five positives a day keeps the doom and gloom away!

A friend of mine and I have recently started writing down five positive things at the end of each day. They can be anything from “an extra half hour in bed” to “a really good chat with so and so” or “a beautiful walk” and the noticeable effects upon my personal mindset (already) have been amazing.

I’m no depressive and I know I have a good life. I love and appreciate all of my friends and family so much and often look outside of my bedroom window thinking what a lovely view I have of the smallest part of this huge world (which has been a positive on more than one day so far). So I do feel that I am, and often I get told I am, a happy person.

However, as much as you try to focus on the positives in life, there are always times when you fall into the trap of a stressful day when nothing seems to be going your way and instantly everything is, quite frankly, shit. Sometimes that smile I plaster over my face is an inward cry for help because in reality, inside, I am not feeling so chipper. You must have experienced days and moods (which sometimes last the whole week) similar to the ones I’m briefly outlining, we all have them.

Loading the dishwasher and your favorite wine glass breaks; stub your toe on the hard bit of the cupboard; get in your car and there’s no petrol – you know the kind, those days when you feel like the whole world is against you.

Even if you think you are a very upbeat person, always seeing the good in people and situations, try this out. Write down five positive things from each day that goes by and see the changes in how you view things.

At first I found it quite difficult because the first day that I did it was one of those rubbish days. I was feeling low (hormones most probably, hangover didn’t help either) and even the big bowl of chocolates surrounding me wasn’t proving to boost my happiness in any way. I was just in one of those moods, but when I thought about it and forced five good things onto my notepad, I instantly felt a weight lift off of my shoulders, like I’d achieved something – another positive.

After just three days of writing five good things down, I already am noticing the benefits. Each new list I write wants to be longer because I’m seeing more and more things as good and actively seeking them out throughout the day. I also find that I have more energy with it and want to do more with the time I have which will in turn lead to yet more optimistic things to note.

I’m finding that my whole mindset is shifting and I’m starting to see not so good things in a brighter light. For instance, checking the weather the other day and I thought to myself that a 40% chance that it’s going to rain all day isn’t 100%. The daunting prospect of having no clue what the next few months hold for me isn’t the best feeling ever, but then I’m taking each day as it comes, breaking down my tasks into realistic measures and ensuring I achieve something closer to my goal every week. I even broke a chair at the pub the other night and felt the mince pies and extra roasties that I ate over Christmas putting me to shame, but still laughed about it and noted that there are worse things in life.

So whether you suffer with low moods on a serious level, or sometimes have days or weeks where things are not looking too great, do try this out. Find five positives from every day (and there will always be at least five) and indulge in the contentment, the good vibes and the new energy that will fill you leading to a fabulous 2018 for us all.