Categories
Observations Stories

The fury, frustration and flagging humans – the petrol station

It was a Sunday, a very hungover Sunday but a decent Sunday nonetheless. It was a day off after all and I don’t think it’s possible to have a bad day off.

A cup of tea in bed to finish my book. A very very unpredictably good ending. A do-gooder trip to supermarkets where I bought presents mostly and a few snacks to feed my ever strengthening throbbing head.

Some sunshine and a good mood. A podcast. A nap. Friends and more naps. Finishing off with a burger to keep the hangover at bay.

I decided to venture out in the evening to see more friends and to ensure that I refrained from consuming the four pack of Magners laying so enticingly in my fridge. I looked at my petrol gauge and oh, great – I was out.

I pulled into the BP station and saw a mass of cars fueling up for the working week ahead and I tried so desperately hard to keep my good, calm tempered mood with me. It was a Sunday after all and who loses it on a peaceful Sunday?

I realised early on that I had chosen a bad time to come to the petrol station but with five miles to empty and on a dark November night, I wasn’t prepared to take the risk.

The pump at which I was waiting had the car parked by it that looked as though it had been there the longest. That’s always a judge that I make upon entering. I then look for the driver who looks the youngest and most able, thus moving faster and leaving first.

Usually I am totally right. This time I was completely wrong.

I had assumed by the mucky looking Ford Fiesta parked up that the owner was of a younger age than the posh cars with personalised number plates that occupied every other pump, and that the driver in question would have more awareness of other people’s time, not thinking he was the most important.

I prayed for each person who exited the building having paid for their petrol to come to the pump I was waiting behind. I was even teased by a man forgetting where his car was and thinking that the car I was parked behind was his – it wasn’t.

Finally after what felt like days of waiting my driver approached. He ambled along as if the place was empty stopping occasionally to check his shoes. Perhaps they were new, perhaps he thought he’d stood in something. I couldn’t care.

He reached the car after a while pausing to let other cars go before him and unlocked the car. Finally, I thought, as he let yet another car go before him. Yes, despite having legs to run forward, he decided to retreat back.

He opened the door which again took minutes rather than seconds (please tell me why?!) and proceeded to check his phone, straighten his hairstyle, eat his sandwich, probably cook a bloody roast dinner, do anything before putting his seat belt on.

I was beginning to lose my strength.

He then sat for another few minutes as if he were waiting for the place to empty before pulling off.

He was finally gone. I was furious. My calm, good mood was destroyed.

Wanted: ignorant human behavior. Found: at petrol stations across the UK.

Categories
Adulthood Observations

The importance of a nice cup of tea

When things go wrong, have a cup of tea. If things are going great, have a cup of tea. In any given situation, have a cup of tea. Sometimes it is so important to physically sit yourself down and have a cup of tea.

While struggling to come up with a topic for this week’s blog post I decided to boil the kettle and make myself a nice mug of green tea, avoiding coffee for once in my life to give my stomach a break. Don’t be fooled I am no health freak.

As I was waiting for the kettle to boil I proceeded to empty the dishwasher, put away one load of washing that was hanging on the airer and hang the load that had finished in the machine up to dry. All of this was done in such a rush trying to beat the click of the boiled kettle.

I then made my tea as quickly as I could pour and took it straight upstairs to its usual position on my desk and started to work, leaving little room to breathe in the process.

It was in this moment that I came up with the topic that I am going to write about this week – the importance of a nice cup of tea.

Not only do I love tea but the whole process of drinking a warm beverage usually requires you to stop and be still, at least for the seconds that you’re sipping. This is why I have used the example of having a cup of tea to basically say – STOP. Sometimes we forget to in this modern chaos that we call life and it is so important.

What should have happened in the scenario I am describing seeing as I had just finished a busy six hour shift at work was that I should have made my cup of tea calmly, paused while waiting for the kettle to boil, sat down on my comfy sofa in my cosy living room and enjoyed every sip. I should have simply enjoyed the process of stopping for a fifteen minute period to have my cup of tea.

Life these days is mad and we are constantly fighting the ticking clock to get every task completed that we set ourselves. I am the worst for overloading work into a period of time that is too short for the amount I plan and I kick myself if I don’t get it all done, never even considering time for a short break.

However, stopping for that tiny period of time within our days to savor the moment of having a cup of tea will help no end. Deliberating over things while you wait for it to cool down a little, or if you’re me and a little pathetic with heat, then a lot. Enjoying every sip and a deep breath after. Loving the fact that you’ve actually stopped and not feeling guilty because it will only ever be for half an hour, max.

Not only does this process have the obvious benefits of hydrating you and warming you up especially during the winter months which are rapidly creeping upon us, but it helps psychologically in that people are proven to feel better after a nice cuppa. There are so many benefits to all kinds of tea and it’s surprising how a small amount of time spent physically stopping can refresh you more than you would think.

Next time you’re boiling the kettle, forget all tasks that need to be done for the time being and make sure you sit, with your cup of tea and enjoy. Appreciate the rare moment of physically stopping.

(I really need to take some of my own advice).

Categories
Review

A Star Is Born and how my view of Gaga changed

I’ve always thought of Lady Gaga as a bit of a freak. In fact, if I am honest, I’ve never really thought of her much at all but whenever I have encountered her I have thought she was a little strange to say the least.

The meat dress scenario and various other nutty outfits as well as her wacky ways when I’ve witnessed her on chat shows made me think she was trying far too hard to stand out and get in the papers.

After watching her amazing performance in the recent film A Star Is Born starring Bradley Cooper alongside Gaga my opinions of her have totally changed. I am now of the view that actually her confidence issues were why she dressed the way she did and perhaps she doesn’t rate her ability either.

A Star Is Born is an absolute must-see. Not only is the story line real and conveying how tough life working in the music industry can be, but also the soundtrack is beautiful.

For the first time that I personally have witnessed, Gaga is stripped of her weirdness, and instead her true talent and stunning natural beauty is revealed. She plays the upcoming star, Ally, who catches singer Jackson Maine’s (played by Cooper) eye one night while she is performing in a drag bar. Her voice stuns him and he instantly wants more.

After performing alongside him she then appeals to a producer who wishes to sacrifice her rawness and Maine as her duet partner to create the image that he selfishly wishes to create.

Maine’s heavy drug and alcohol problem sends him into a spiral of decline and the industry taking Ally away from him doesn’t help which leads to a saddening end so ensure you bring your tissues for that one!

Not only did I find the plot brilliant and more than just another love story but the music and songs are something that have stuck with me as I’ve played them while getting ready most mornings, throughout the day and before I go to bed at night.

Beware, the majority of songs will make you cry as they did me the morning after I went to see the film. It was an embarrassing moment as I blubbered away while serving somebody at the Post Office counter at work who must’ve thought I had serious psychological issues. However, despite the tears the music is also just simply stunning.

 

Categories
Observations

Single at twenty three, a positive take

With many things in life I often like to take a positive outlook on my relationship status having remained ‘single’ for the vast majority of my life so far. In fact, I can put my hand on my heart and tell you that I have never been in a proper relationship (none that I’d count anyway) and I am OK with this, mostly.

I have plenty of friends who are similar ages to me and in good, long term, secure relationships and I am so happy for them. It means that there will be lots of fun weddings to come in the not too distant future and an excuse for lots of new dress purchases too, but I really am happy for them.

Sometimes I get quite jealous when I scroll down social media seeing so many perfectly happy couples, holidaying in Menorca or generally having a jolly romantic time of it and I long for my man to come along.

Quite often I’ve got quite (drunkenly) upset and aired the issue to close friends, sometimes even strangers about how lonely being single can feel.

However, there are so many good bits about being single at twenty three and though I would welcome a relationship with open arms, I am more than content with my life as it is. Please don’t get me wrong though, I’m happy for those lucky ones.

I have time. Twenty three is SO YOUNG. You hear so many older couples saying how they wished they had waited and not settled so young, or telling you that you have got so much time. So many people didn’t meet their life long love until they were in their late twenties or even later so time is definitely on my side.

I already have a busy schedule. I struggle to fit many of my friends into my increasingly jammed schedule and I know so many of my peers are in the same situation so fitting time for a boyfriend right now seems impossible. Being single takes this responsibility away -result!

I am saving money. Christmas is cheaper, birthdays are cheaper and in fact life is cheaper without having to have numerous date nights on top of socialising with friends too.

I am having fun. Nights out can become more exciting when you can kiss who you like and Tinder is always an entertaining pastime.

I am in control. Your life plans are yours and there is no compromising or planning whether you want kids and when etc.

It will happen. As hard as it is to hear sometimes and as difficult as I find it to believe, literally everyone tells me that someone will come into my life when I least expect it and the more successful relationships that I hear of, the more I believe this saying to be true.

So though a romantic getaway wouldn’t go amiss and sometimes I’d like to have someone more than my lovely friends to tell me I’m a good person and cared for, being single really isn’t that bad for now, especially at such a young age.

Categories
Adulthood Observations

Through it all there are always good people

There may be lies and cheats and people who constantly tread on your feet. There might be people who will do anything to get their way, but there are always good people.

Some people will make you feel uncomfortable with their judgmental eyes glaring at you across the room. They may even be bold enough to comment on things such as how you look or act, but then there are always good people.

You might be following somebody down the road who is walking as slow as a snail and you want to get past because you’re late for an appointment. Or your issue lies with someone who can’t decide on what they want as they take up all the staff in the queue in front of you, but then there are always good people.

You may hear about the worst kind of people on the news. People who kill other people, hurt other people, hurt animals or abuse their rights, but you have to remember there are always good people.

The complainers and forceful brutes who think they know it all and want to step on everyone that they meet, but still there are always the people.

You might get frustrated at those who don’t work at all yet get everything handed to them while everybody else slaves away. Maybe it’s those who are so tight with money that they refuse to donate to charity that bother you most, but there are always the people.

 

There are people who love and give all that they have out into the world to share – they are good people.

There are those who never judge and have time for anybody no matter who they are nor what their own issues may be, their ears are for listening and that is what they offer – they are good people.

So many people rescue animals and provide them with a better home to live in for the rest of their good lives – they are good people.

There are people who will work for free, volunteer to help those less fortunate than themselves or work but give half of their wealth to a good organisation – they are good people.

If they do good deeds but don’t insist on anything back – they are good people.

When you’re in a shop and someone is short ten pence so the person behind gives it to them – they are good people.

Friends who give gifts or cards “just because” – they are good people.

Those who haven’t time but make it for people they love – they are good people.

People who love unconditionally and give hugs freely – they are good people.

Those who genuinely care – they are good people.

 

If you’re having a bad day remember that there are so many good people out there. If everything is going wrong then remember the good. Goodness is all around us, we just have to see it and focus on it.

Categories
Adulthood

I’m no money expert, but these tips work for me!

Yet again another year has flown by and the countdown to Christmas begins. In fact, it’s under nine weeks until the fat fella comes down your chimney. Yep, nine weeks! I can’t believe it either.

With this in mind, I thought it would be very appropriate to focus this weeks blog post around money and my top tips on saving.

From a young age – when I was thirteen and had my first job as a paper girl around the village that I live in – I was always very conscious about money. I can remember sitting at my desk under my bunk bed (I was a very cool kid) and working out where each weeks pay would go.

I think I got twelve pounds a week and to a teenager that is a hefty amount. I’d put maybe two pounds aside for sweets, a further few pounds aside for something else and the rest would go into my bank to build up and eventually buy me a new top or a DVD when I had saved enough.

Of course, my priorities have changed and sweets have been replaced with wine but I still have the same mentality towards money.

I have targets that I want my savings to reach annually and work out how much of my wages needs to be put aside to enable me to meet these. I then divvy the rest up between what goes in my purse and can be spent along with a few stashes hidden elsewhere which act as a buffer between me running out of cash in my purse due to a few extra pints in the local and me dipping into my bank account and ruining all the savings I had built up.

With Christmas just around the corner I have began to look for presents, in fact I began my search in September and felt it was a great way to save. Christmas is expensive no matter how you look at it so any saving is a good thing in my opinion. If you buy all of your presents at once it becomes pricey and large sums of money exit your account leaving you feeling a little deflated after all the hard work you put in to earn it. Whereas if you start keeping an eye out early then little bits go out at a time and you aren’t left with a whacking great whole in your pocket come December.

A good way to keep track on your spending is to withdraw the cash, perhaps even give yourself a weekly allowance if you can be disciplined enough, so that you know exactly how much you’re spending. Using a debit card can become ambiguous, especially in this day with contactless payments making it almost impossible to keep track of what you spend.

Another great tip that I have found is to save a select type of coin. I choose two pounds and fifty pence pieces. It may sound sad, but hear me out. I have a bottle which can only be accessed once broken and the last time I emptied it when it wasn’t even full the total came to over three hundred pounds which was a nice surprise to come home to once I was skint post travels. It’s surprising how putting little bits away can add up and I was certainly shocked at the total figure.

So there we have it:

  • divvy your money – spending, buffer, savings
  • start Christmas early
  • be aware of what you’re spending
  • save a certain type of coin

Little things can save you a lot of money so consider my tips and feel free to send me some of your own!

Categories
Adulthood

Go with the flow, it’s the best way to go

We all have moments in our lives when we compare ourselves to others. We might think that’s how I need to be. I need to be more this or I need to do that less.

Moments that you suddenly feel that your life is due a big change which will solve all of your problems and worries, but often these moments last a week or so and you’re soon back to old habits.

Recently I’ve had one of these moments but it’s not to dramatically change. This isn’t to say that I don’t have moments like this all the time when I promise to friends or to myself that I won’t do something or will begin doing something differently.

This time though I decided that I simply need to chill out a bit more and take it all in my stride. I find that if you say the words ‘just go with the flow’ to any given situation that you’re facing then usually you’ll feel much better about it and it will often provide a weightlifting feeling, even just for a minute.

If you’re worrying about the future – let it be. If you’re overthinking about something somebody said or something that you said to them – let it go. If you’re wondering what will happen next week – just let it.

Often we’re pressured into having a plan. Whether that is to plan daily, weekly, monthly, yearly and even, sometimes, life long. Living this way can be stressful, frantic and lead you to unnecessary stress.

There’s so much talk of having a five year plan, especially with regards to your career. Of course, it’s good to have a goal or an ambition and the wish to progress further into whatever it is that you love. However, bothering yourself constantly with the needing to know (often about things that you can’t know much about until they occur) is pointless and life just doesn’t happen that way.

People have plans over when they want kids, what age they wish to get married, when they think they should have moved out. However, something that these sorts of people often forget is that life doesn’t always happen in your favor.

Sadly someone who has been holding out to turn twenty six so they can start trying for their first child may find that they can’t have children at all or that they have complications so that process is going to take a lot longer than they had initially expected.

Someone who wished to get married by twenty five may never find the right one or split a few months before their twenty fifth birthday.

The person who wanted to be on the property ladder aged twenty eight may find a better use for their savings or have a total change of circumstances which means they achieve this earlier or have to wait until they are older.

While it can benefit you both mentally and financially to think beyond the here and now and it is a good idea to plan to a certain extent, five years is a long time so don’t hold everything by that.

Have a loose plan but don’t fret when things change because they will. A lot can happen in a week let alone a year and more so in five so be aware of this and allow for fluidity in your planning.

You might plan a monthly saving amount so that you have a house deposit by twenty five which is great and something that a lot of change shouldn’t affect.

You might aim to be at a certain level in your career by the time you are thirty which again is valid and achievable but note that things may turn your life in a different direction.

This is why having a five year vague idea, as I like to call it, as well as the mentality to go with the flow is a great way to spend your twenties and many other decades through your life come to that I am sure.

It’s not easy and I’m still very much a work in progress on this but it’s working for me so far. I feel happier, more positive, more focused and motivated to succeed in what I wish to do.

I have aims and ambitions but I’m accepting that these things take time and I don’t know how long I need to give them. Having markers such as reevaluating my situation every three or four months and having a good look in a year or two is how I’m working because I’m experimenting and an experiment isn’t final.

I no longer feel I need to justify my actions, no long feel I need to say why I’m doing certain things in life and not others, no longer need to explain why I’m choosing this but rather just need to let it all be.

It will work out, I keep telling myself, at least I hope it will.

Categories
Adulthood

How meditation helps me

I’ve always thought of meditation as sitting cross legged on the floor with your arms out and your forefinger touching your thumb on both hands.

A low humming noise sometimes comes into the picture and aromatic soothing scents fill the room, which is decorated all colourful and bright with things bought from the hippy shop down town.

However, until recently I figured that there are so many different ways to meditate and my gosh has it helped me out.

My days are spent – as most of us experiencing adulthood – juggling one hundred and one activities at once. I go to work, have about five different writing projects on the go as well as wanting to go out, do things, shop, tidy all the usual stuff that comes with the life of a girl at twenty three.

When I get home from work at one thirty each day and sit at my desk to write in my break I can usually handle half an hour before my brain turns to fuzz and I either need strong coffee or a nap before I can begin doing anything productive at all.

A week ago I discovered the app ‘Head space’. I was in one of these blank moments when my Word document was empty and my inspiration was elsewhere when I decided to sit down and begin day one of my meditation app.

I lay on my bed ignoring his instructions to sit and opted for the ten minute session rather than three (what can you achieve in three minutes?) and began.

He took me through breathing exercises, noticing your physical body, listening to sounds to ground you in the moment as well as letting your mind go off to wherever it desired.

He described thoughts as traffic that you should allow – watch – but not necessarily address all.

I freaked when he would guide my mind back knowing somehow that it had wandered, which it always had, and I felt amazing afterwards when he asked me to think about this.

Not only did I feel totally relaxed and found the exercises calming, but I took just ten minutes away from the day, ten minutes to myself, ten minutes out of life to completely revitalize my brain and I returned to my laptop with a fresh new mind to begin the next task. I found it incredible that this had happened in just ten minutes.

Now I’m on day seven and I take the time each afternoon when I have attempted as much work as I can manage before my brain switches off to lay down and mediate for ten minutes. It is amazing how much ten minutes can make a difference and I am benefiting more each day. I am sure what I write post-meditation is much better than the stuff I struggle to produce before!

Whether it’s an app, a CD or revisiting exercises that you have done previously, if you’re getting stressed in the adulthood frenzy that is life, then make ten minutes in the day for you to meditate and feel the benefits that are sure to come.

 

Categories
Special moments

A sunny moment on an otherwise rainy Saturday

Most days just happen. Some happen badly, some happy really quite well but mostly they just happen.

Adulthood can sometimes seem a little mundane with the constant repetition of routine. We go about our lives with work and play, but even free time is filled with monotonous tasks like filling dishwashers and putting washing on the line and it’s all done on repeat.

That’s why when little moments occur which add something extra to the days events, I find it a perfect excuse for a blog post.

I’m taking you back to yesterday, a rainy wet and quite frankly dull Saturday.

I had worked a busy shift, come home to chill out and put on a film because what else is there to do when the clouds are full with water that’s pouring out onto the grey world and it doesn’t look as though the tap is ever going to turn off? And what other film to watch than Bridget Jones’ baby? It was actually a perfect afternoon. One thing missing though? My daily dog walk.

I ventured upstairs to busy myself before wine o’clock came around and began changing my bed, constantly doing things that would better my dreary day. A fresh bed is possibly one of life’s best things, right?

So there I was stripping my bed, a little gutted about not seeing my favorite four legged friends but each time I looked out of my window the rain seemed to have got heavier so I kept thinking that there was no chance we’d get out.

I’d just stripped my bed and the bare duvet and pillows lay all over my bedroom floor when a text message came through from my friend bringing a huge smile to my face – yes of course I want to go on a dog walk in the wet, mud and cold!

Happily, we all loaded into the van and headed to the closest walk to us which we call ‘Italy’ because it’s always flooded. A perfect place to go to in the pouring rain I hear you say. Hear me out.

There was one other crazy person parked up when we arrived but we soon came to realise that she wasn’t crazy but rather distraught as her Spaniel, Cadbury, had disappeared. She had been walking in the fields where we were about to go and Cadbury had gone hunting, not to be seen for an hour and a half. We said we’d try to spot her and took the ladies number, feeling very sorry for her as my friend had been there before and praying but pretty doubtful that we’d see anything.

So, we walked, chatting away about nothing much and were simply happy to be out. We laughed at the madness of our being out in the rain but the dogs were happy so were we too.

I never knew that I looked up when I walked and always thought I looked down at the ground so that I don’t trip on something tiny and make a total fool out of myself, however look up I must because I spotted a black blob in the exact corner of the field that the lady claimed she had seen her dog go missing.

“That’s her!” I shouted to my friend who wasn’t totally sure until the dog turned and the shape was certainly a Spaniel.

We began the loud cries, “Cadbury!” “Cadbury!” sounding almost as desperate as the poor lady looked and trying to mimic her accent which was a lot more well-spoken English than mine and certainly not Irish like my friend’s!

“Cadbury! Caaaaadddbury!” We continued but the poor petrified pup just retreated into the overgrowth.

I tried going up to her alone to try to calm her into the security of the lead I was holding but with a very protective big chocolate Labrador and an excitable pup there was no chance we weren’t going to intimidate her, so we contacted the lady to attempt for herself.

All well and good you might be thinking but the lady was driving down the track thinking that we had found her dog when in fact we’d lost sight of her and were desperately trying to regain it before she arrived. The adrenaline was real and we couldn’t feel the rain pouring on us, until the little Papillon let out a tiny cry and the Shiatsu barked as if to say “Dinner time now please!”

Thankfully, Cadbury made another appearance out of the grass so that we could point the lady in the right direction while we guarded her abandoned car. The cries came as well as the whistle but the poor dog was too scared and remained stagnant until she retreated again.

As hopeless as the situation seemed eventually she reappeared in a gap in the overgrowth a little to the left of where the lady was searching.

We called out as loud as we could and tried to ring but her phone was in the car. We were screaming as Beyonce sang “To the left, to the left” but she didn’t hear.

Turning around to see our crazy hand gestures, she finally cottoned on at the same time that Cadbury realised that it was her Mum and began running towards her like a moment from a film. A film with a very happy ending. A very VERY happy ending indeed.

The two returned to us, one soaked Spaniel and an extremely thankful owner, grateful for our help and happy to be reunited. There was only one place that we were heading and that was the shower!

It’s moments like these that certainly bring the sunshine to dreary, wet Saturday’s and excitement to the mundane. We felt good, we felt we’d done a very good deed.

 

Categories
Observations

Inside a dogs mind

Spending a huge chunk of my time surrounded by dogs to the point that I would consider some of my best buddies to be those of the four legged variety, I often wonder what goes on inside their heads.

They are incredible animals and though some are more intelligent than others, they all have their perks and individual personalities that we love.

No matter how long you leave a dog, they are so happy to see you. Whether it’s been a five minute trip outside to the dustbin or a four hour lunch date with a friend, they are always so excited on your return and this is one of the things that I love the most. As you enter the house they will be sure to come running up to you with only happiness showing from their beaming body language.

When you’re chilling of an evening and everything is calm, they often give each human an equal amount of lap time – as long as they like you that is – and they cuddle up to you making you feel so loved as they are.

Their intelligence amazes me and you often see on documentaries how clever dogs can be. I find sniffer dogs and guide dogs incredible, as well as the power that they have to sense your mood and if ever you’re sad they will certainly know and do anything in their power to comfort you.

I often walk with a friend and a collection of dogs. The times one has ran that bit too far for our liking and that bit too fast for us to catch it, usually confused having lost us, and we have sent the other dogs to bring the lost one back, they have done. Effortlessly.

I have friends who tell me that they spend a lot of time alone due to shift work or such like yet they never feel alone at all when their dog is around. I have people who tell me how much their dog helped them through a significant loss in the family or the discovery of a terminal illness. In fact, everything you hear about dogs is fabulous.

You only have to watch Super Vet to witness this precious bond that we have built with these amazing animals. The things that he is able to do to help the most horrific injuries and the determination that the dogs have to continue living. I have seen dogs with spinal injuries on the show that even Noel Fitzpatrick is questioning whether they’ll survive and they often do, amazingly.

But one of the best things that I love about them is that they can’t talk which leaves you wondering what goes on inside that small head. I know many owners have full blown conversations with their pups and I love to think that they’re replying and actually saying the things that their owner says for them.

I could watch dogs all day making up in my mind what is going on in theirs. I love that they all have their own personalities and I really hope that their barks at dogs across the road is actually a “see you in the park mate” as we humans would say “see you in the pub”.

For now I can only imagine, but maybe one day we will know what goes on inside a dogs mind.