Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations Writing

They had an off tasting bit of orange, they weren’t judging your life. Possibly?

I sometimes (who am I kidding) quite often question what I am doing in life. My work, my love life, the social side of things – basically everything that makes up life. Usually this happens very late at night or very early in the morning but question I do. And fret. Oh gosh do I fret.

Another magnesium and I’m usually fine!

It’s that timeline thing again. That thing you see so often all over social media and in books. It is not a race. Claudia Winkleman put it straight in her book that I wrote about a few weeks back.

IT IS NOT A RACE.

I think we all have goal posts and given the world in which we live, it is hard not to compare. I find with my writing my questioning is highlighted hugely at social gatherings when most there went to university, on to grad schemes or into a trained profession and are all very successful. I quieten when I say that I write books. I (wrongly I am sure) feel the ‘what’s the point’ eyes from those who don’t read.

Isn’t it crazy how much we make up stories that probably aren’t even true?! Try to control others actions which will have a detrimental part to play in our lives?! Mad.

Anyway I sometimes think the momentum has dried up with Dear Brannagh as I look at work at my shrine slowly browning and curling at the corners. The copies left sitting there. Everyone who wants to know has bought.

Then this happens.

I get home from work, rush to get ready for yet another hen do and receive a text from a friend looking for furniture on Facebook Marketplace. The text is a picture of my book. My book on some strangers gorgeous chest of drawers, helping to display for a sale.

I sell three copies in a day.

I recieve a message late at night from someone who quietly follows me thanking me for being an inspiration to her and encouraging her to continue her writing.

All that happens and I am back in the game.

It’s often easy to forget these things but deep down they are always there. Be strong in your decisions. Be bold with your choices and live that life for you.

Obviously be happy for others but remember that they too are also probably happy for you. They had an off tasting bit of orange, they weren’t judging your life. Possibly?

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. You can also find published work in my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is OUT NOW. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey as I self-publish novel number two, then please subscribe to my newsletter by filling in the form at the bottom of any page of my website. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

A year on, what I would say (and add)

This morning someone ‘liked’ a blog post that I had written last year in June. I had obviously had a lot more time on my hands last year or because we were only just getting used to lockdown and doing nothing when not at work, I didn’t feel so guilty. Clearly I was listening to lots of podcasts and reading lots too. Bliss.

The idea of the post I had written was giving myself advice for one year’s time. A letter to self. It was called ‘In a year I would say’ and most of it still stands.

I would still tell myself to worry less.

I’m yet to decide whether certain attributes I hold are life long or whether there is anything I can do to change them. I will most probably always be a born worrier but if I could weaken the worry a little more it would make my days far less stressful!

Enjoying the moment is still so important.

If the pandemic has done no other good (I’m sure it has) the necessity to seize the moment is a huge lesson to us all. It might be on a walk, shutting out life’s worries and focusing on the birds, the trees and all of nature that surrounds you. Perhaps it is turning your attention over from an anxious feeling to children happily playing over there, a dog enjoying a paddle in a pond, how soft your hair feels after a fresh trim.

Stop trying to change the unchangable.

There are certain things that you can’t control. Other people’s words and actions, the weather, the future, the past – I need to stop trying to.

Always take time for a pamper.

Every six weeks I get my hair cut like many women and men across the world. I have the same conversation with my friend each time saying how I’m not that fussed, my hair can wait. She always follows with the same: “take half an hour out of your day to get your hair cut, you will feel better for it!” She is always right, I always do.

Nothing (rarely) is as bad as it seems in the mind.

I’m going to use a recent example to illustrate this point. Now that things are opening up a little more my social life has been injected with plans. I am also at the age of weddings and hen dos. For three weekends on the trott I have had plans. Most involving more than three hours travel, crowds (or more people than I have associated with in over a year), new places, new people and socialising. All of which I need to get back into practise of. I was surprisingly worried before the first weekend away. I didn’t realise how stressed the thought of it would make me.

Once there I loved it. My worries instantly vanished despite Bournemouth being pretty crowded. I wore my mask where I felt necessary and kept sanitising but apart from those extra precautions I felt perfectly safe. The evening was perfect spent on the beach with games and wine. It showed that things are never as daunting as they seem and it applies for most things in life.

Don’t give up on your dreams.

For me this is writing. I go in waves of loving every aspect to my writing life to not seeing the worth in my efforts or having a really bad time of not getting much down. I’ll then receive a message from someone I have inspired, I may see my book online in a place I wouldn’t expect or a stranger comes into the shop and buys a copy. I soon pipe down and continue, determined never to give up.

Take another minute.

I wrote about this a little while ago on this blog and I feel it is SO important that I am going to write about it again. ALWAYS take another minute. “I don’t have time!” I hear you say. You do. Make time. In bed in the morning take another minute. Go a little further on that walk to take another minute. Sip for longer on your coffee break and take another minute. It is only a minute and you will notice the benefits.

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. You can also find published work in my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is OUT NOW. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey as I self-publish novel number two, then please subscribe to my newsletter by filling in the form at the bottom of any page of my website. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

In case anyone is interested…

In case anyone is interested, I am a little nervous

About the easing of restrictions and the opening of the world again.

In case anyone is interested, I can’t get fully excited

About social events, big events, because there is always the risk looming.

In case anyone is interested, I may still wear a mask

To protect others, to protect me, to feel safer and secure in environments.

Environments we’ve not experienced ‘normally’ in well over a year

In case anyone is interest, I am going to take it steady

With life, in work in all that I do.

In case anyone is interested, I am going to allow

Allow for tiredness, feeling intimidated, overwhelmed, all of those feelings that come with this.

This thing we are living through that nobody quite understands

In case anyone is interested, I get it

I get why the government feel there is no other option, why now is time.

At some point we have to move on, to continue, to live with it

In case anyone is interested, I find writing therapeutic

So much creativity will come out of these times, some bad some good.

In case anyone is interested, I will always remember

These times, those lost, key workers, inspirations along the way.

If you’re not interested, that’s fine. Move on.

If you are please stay, I have lots to say!

(blogging weekly, Instagramming even more)

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. You can also find published work in my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is OUT NOW. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey as I self-publish novel number two, then please subscribe to my newsletter by filling in the form at the bottom of any page of my website. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Recommendations Review

Quite by Claudia Winkleman

Quite. A word that implies negativity. Not quite good enough. Sort of. Alright. But Claudia Winkleman turns that around in her fabulous non-fiction account. She puts quite as the level of expectation we should have for our lives. For our days, our experiences – everything.

Put it this way. You go out for the day. It’s a bank holiday. The sun is shining and you’ve got the next day off. Inside your mind you might picture the perfect lunch overlooking the river. Endless supplies of alcohol, the sun beaming down on your face as you enjoy every last sip. Then onto the next place.

Well. The lunch is crowded, the sun is too hot, the bevergages are bloating, everywhere is packed, things cost money. In fact the day is never perfect. But it mostly quite good.

If you went with that expectation, it leaves room for perfection, but if perfection never happens then your day was still a good day. This is what Claudia is getting at.

So many gems inside this novel I found myself noting down. The final line is one of the best ‘We’re here for five minutes: enjoy the view’ Words to live by each moment at a time.

Well worth a read. An honest account of life. It makes you feel good. It leaves you with a different outlook. And it boosts you to think you’re actually doing alright. And that alright is good enough.

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. You can also find published work in my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is OUT NOW. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey as I self-publish novel number two, then please subscribe to my newsletter by filling in the form at the bottom of any page of my website. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting