Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

Honesty is the best policy, I hope you agree

Recently I’ve been feeling pretty flat yet frantic. Not drastically so just I’ve felt lower more often than I’ve felt like smiling. Anger has got the better of me and I feel so cross. All of the time.

My head is so busy yet sometimes so empty. My fretting of the future has been amplified. How am I meant to find ‘the one’ when I can’t freely go to the pub!?

I digress.

Two people very close to me were affected by COVID-19 this week, negative tests, but affected nonetheless and it hit home. The reality sunk in.

I then look to the dogs in bed beside me not knowing what’s going on in our world and happily content in theirs. Bliss.

I find it so easy to focus only on tv dramas because the issues displayed are not my own. I can easily zone into books because they too are different worlds away from the dismay of what we are living through. People are hugging, close, enjoying pub life and restaurants without guilt. Enjoying life. Normality.

But then here on our earth there are doctors and nurses in despair. Government in chaos. Decision makers ripping their hair out. Well, any that they have left.

I try to avoid the news. It’s awful. Even for five minutes.

I turn the news on to see people literally crying for their livelihood. Never knowing when it’s going to end. People feeling awful for normal social lovely things like going for a pint or for a pizza. I want to spend a Sunday afternoon enjoying a pub cooked roast and drinking plenty of wine without a tag on to track me! It’s so odd. Everything is practically illegal.

The reality that parents are struggling to put shoes on their children’s feet and food in their mouths is everywhere. It’s a crisis. It’s scary.

I know I shouldn’t feel this way because I have so much when others have so little. I should be grateful and only that. Then I am human, this is where I’m at some of the time. I soon snap out of it but occasionally I think it’s ok to let everything get on top of you, just for one second. Especially during the times we are living through.

I’ve just skipped the frustration out of my bones ready for another day, putting a jolly face on for the public who most probably also feel similar. My favourite time of the day is 6pm, sipping on a beverage in the company of great people, thinking how truly lucky I am.

There’s not too much purpose to this post except therapy for me and hopefully reassurance for others. Hopefully I’ll read over it in 6 months to a year and be happy that things have improved. Massively hopeful.

Until next time.

H x 🙂

All blog posts can be found at https://www.harrietmills.co.uk/ and to read my published work visit my portfolio.

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

2020: shall we all just scream for ice cream?

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

A well known phrase which, while drinking the third beer on my Sunday last week I desperately wanted to perform. I wouldn’t have stopped at the end though. Oh no. I’d have screamed and screamed and screamed until they could hear me, er, somewhere over the pond which indicates a very loud scream.

Yes, disclaimer, I’m a little tipsy writing this one.

It’s all gong a bit mental hasn’t it. I just opened the BBC news app because I’d not had / possibly missed the latest few announcements on coronavirus so wanted to see whether I’m still legally allowed to leave my home.

Wish I hadn’t.

They’re on about the £10,000 fines for disobeying the rules. It’s just gone next level but is any of it working. Like I get staying 2 metres away etc works, but are the tactics on implementing these rules working?

Anyway.

Forth beer now and I’m happy.

Since writing this, the past week has seen further restrictions and now at work we are all in visors. If you told me this time last year I’d be going to work dressed as if I’m about to operate I’d have laughed in ya face! But it’s happening.

A N Y W A Y. . .

I’m writing this partly because I was on a roll while half cut, partly because I find myself kinda funny, partly as a diary. Like a wartime diary, but not. Far from it.

Just gotta keep on keeping on, eating loads and drinking plenty. Christmas all year round. Everyday. We’ve sung about it for years!

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. You can also find published work in my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is available on Amazon along with the sequel Don’t Tell Jack. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey, then please subscribe to my newsletter by dropping your name and email. There will be plenty of giveaways, news hot off the press and an honest insight into life as an author. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations Special moments Stories Writing

In a crazy world where good things happen.

6.

We were sitting in the sun, two peas in a pod. The best of friends.

The birds were louder than they have ever been. Ever. Maybe it was because there is less noise pollution without traffic. Or the birds are loving the fact that the world around them is less people-y?! We will never know.

The breeze was perfect.

I was wearing a new top which I loved. 1/10 items and I loved them all. AND THEY FIT! Unheard of. Yes, I fell into the lock down online shopping trap. ORDER! Why not? It felt great.

We were chatting about the exciting future. We were talking about food and which takeaway to order. We were discussing good things and good times.

I forgot to get us drinks.

We were looking at more lovely clothes and talking about lovely words. We were watching videos that made us smile. The warmth was thrilling on our skin. We discussed plans.

I forgot our needs for coffee and water.

We were chatting in the sun and it was so nice to be chatting when we weren’t so exhausted. So nice. We hadn’t just finished a long and tiring shift making conversation difficult. It just flowed. No slurring of words.

Though that’s usually down to alcohol.

Two best of friends just sitting letting the world spin. Letting time tick on but not having a care in the world. Sitting comfortably and quite content.

All was good.

It was a Sunday. We didn’t have to do anything. No pressing tasks at hand. The butterflies flew all around us. Nature was so loud. So wild. So lovely.

I forgot our drinks.

I just want to remember. I want to remember snippets like this from these times. When the world around us is so bizarre, unsafe and uncertain.

In this we weren’t actually doing anything. Just being. Treasure it. It is in the moment we must live. Times like these we must cherish. Especially now.

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. You can also find published work in my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is available on Amazon along with the sequel Don’t Tell Jack. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey, then please subscribe to my newsletter by dropping your name and email. There will be plenty of giveaways, news hot off the press and an honest insight into life as an author. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations Stories Writing

In a crazy world where good things happen.

5.

It was Saturday morning and I wasn’t hungover. My gosh I can’t remember the last time I was badly hungover. I kind of miss it. I haven’t managed to stay awake for long enough to drink enough to warrant a heavy head in the morning.

I divert.

Judging by the order list, I knew how busy it was going to get but felt that pre-7am I might get a snippet of time to organise myself ready for the rush.

I was wrong.

Customer after customer after customer out getting papers and milk before the birds had finished singing their first song. While I was very happy to serve, I was getting a teeny tiny bit stressed about the amount of orders glaring out of the book at me, knowing that the less organised I was the more things I’d miss and the more customers would be disappointed.

Thank God I wasn’t hungover.

This feeling left me when one happy customer (still pre-7am) started piling his goods onto the counter. Goods kept on piling up as he retrieved huge amounts of fruit and veg that I didn’t even know we had left, and all sorts of other items off the shelf.

“Is that everything for you?” I kept asking and still he was adding and adding, unaware as to what he needed but impressed at the range we stocked within four small walls.

Once he felt he’d cleared us out of most things, I tried to pack for him. I am the world’s worst packer. But still, he was extremely happy, we’d saved him time, he needn’t go anywhere else for the bank holiday weekend.

Good times.

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

To anybody struggling…

To anybody struggling – you’ll have a lovely Christmas

To anybody finding things difficult – there are good days to come

To anybody wanting more – the best day of your life may not have happened yet

To anybody feeling anxious – one day your confidence will overrule

To anybody suffering – the rain will pass you by

To anybody worrying – it may not matter in the future of yours

To anybody fighting – you are stronger than you think

To anybody comparing – you don’t see the bad parts

To anybody not smiling – you have so much in life to smile about

To anybody hurting – it will get better

To anybody over doing it – take some time for you

To anybody fretting – weigh up what’s important

To anybody feeling empty – notice everything around you, appreciate

To anybody struggling – you have got this.