We all have moments in our lives when we compare ourselves to others. We might think that’s how I need to be. I need to be more this or I need to do that less.
Moments that you suddenly feel that your life is due a big change which will solve all of your problems and worries, but often these moments last a week or so and you’re soon back to old habits.
Recently I’ve had one of these moments but it’s not to dramatically change. This isn’t to say that I don’t have moments like this all the time when I promise to friends or to myself that I won’t do something or will begin doing something differently.
This time though I decided that I simply need to chill out a bit more and take it all in my stride. I find that if you say the words ‘just go with the flow’ to any given situation that you’re facing then usually you’ll feel much better about it and it will often provide a weightlifting feeling, even just for a minute.
If you’re worrying about the future – let it be. If you’re overthinking about something somebody said or something that you said to them – let it go. If you’re wondering what will happen next week – just let it.
Often we’re pressured into having a plan. Whether that is to plan daily, weekly, monthly, yearly and even, sometimes, life long. Living this way can be stressful, frantic and lead you to unnecessary stress.
There’s so much talk of having a five year plan, especially with regards to your career. Of course, it’s good to have a goal or an ambition and the wish to progress further into whatever it is that you love. However, bothering yourself constantly with the needing to know (often about things that you can’t know much about until they occur) is pointless and life just doesn’t happen that way.
People have plans over when they want kids, what age they wish to get married, when they think they should have moved out. However, something that these sorts of people often forget is that life doesn’t always happen in your favor.
Sadly someone who has been holding out to turn twenty six so they can start trying for their first child may find that they can’t have children at all or that they have complications so that process is going to take a lot longer than they had initially expected.
Someone who wished to get married by twenty five may never find the right one or split a few months before their twenty fifth birthday.
The person who wanted to be on the property ladder aged twenty eight may find a better use for their savings or have a total change of circumstances which means they achieve this earlier or have to wait until they are older.
While it can benefit you both mentally and financially to think beyond the here and now and it is a good idea to plan to a certain extent, five years is a long time so don’t hold everything by that.
Have a loose plan but don’t fret when things change because they will. A lot can happen in a week let alone a year and more so in five so be aware of this and allow for fluidity in your planning.
You might plan a monthly saving amount so that you have a house deposit by twenty five which is great and something that a lot of change shouldn’t affect.
You might aim to be at a certain level in your career by the time you are thirty which again is valid and achievable but note that things may turn your life in a different direction.
This is why having a five year vague idea, as I like to call it, as well as the mentality to go with the flow is a great way to spend your twenties and many other decades through your life come to that I am sure.
It’s not easy and I’m still very much a work in progress on this but it’s working for me so far. I feel happier, more positive, more focused and motivated to succeed in what I wish to do.
I have aims and ambitions but I’m accepting that these things take time and I don’t know how long I need to give them. Having markers such as reevaluating my situation every three or four months and having a good look in a year or two is how I’m working because I’m experimenting and an experiment isn’t final.
I no longer feel I need to justify my actions, no long feel I need to say why I’m doing certain things in life and not others, no longer need to explain why I’m choosing this but rather just need to let it all be.
It will work out, I keep telling myself, at least I hope it will.