Category: Observations

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

Honesty is the best policy, I hope you agree

Recently I’ve been feeling pretty flat yet frantic. Not drastically so just I’ve felt lower more often than I’ve felt like smiling. Anger has got the better of me and I feel so cross. All of the time.

My head is so busy yet sometimes so empty. My fretting of the future has been amplified. How am I meant to find ‘the one’ when I can’t freely go to the pub!?

I digress.

Two people very close to me were affected by COVID-19 this week, negative tests, but affected nonetheless and it hit home. The reality sunk in.

I then look to the dogs in bed beside me not knowing what’s going on in our world and happily content in theirs. Bliss.

I find it so easy to focus only on tv dramas because the issues displayed are not my own. I can easily zone into books because they too are different worlds away from the dismay of what we are living through. People are hugging, close, enjoying pub life and restaurants without guilt. Enjoying life. Normality.

But then here on our earth there are doctors and nurses in despair. Government in chaos. Decision makers ripping their hair out. Well, any that they have left.

I try to avoid the news. It’s awful. Even for five minutes.

I turn the news on to see people literally crying for their livelihood. Never knowing when it’s going to end. People feeling awful for normal social lovely things like going for a pint or for a pizza. I want to spend a Sunday afternoon enjoying a pub cooked roast and drinking plenty of wine without a tag on to track me! It’s so odd. Everything is practically illegal.

The reality that parents are struggling to put shoes on their children’s feet and food in their mouths is everywhere. It’s a crisis. It’s scary.

I know I shouldn’t feel this way because I have so much when others have so little. I should be grateful and only that. Then I am human, this is where I’m at some of the time. I soon snap out of it but occasionally I think it’s ok to let everything get on top of you, just for one second. Especially during the times we are living through.

I’ve just skipped the frustration out of my bones ready for another day, putting a jolly face on for the public who most probably also feel similar. My favourite time of the day is 6pm, sipping on a beverage in the company of great people, thinking how truly lucky I am.

There’s not too much purpose to this post except therapy for me and hopefully reassurance for others. Hopefully I’ll read over it in 6 months to a year and be happy that things have improved. Massively hopeful.

Until next time.

H x 🙂

All blog posts can be found at https://www.harrietmills.co.uk/ and to read my published work visit my portfolio.

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

2020: shall we all just scream for ice cream?

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

A well known phrase which, while drinking the third beer on my Sunday last week I desperately wanted to perform. I wouldn’t have stopped at the end though. Oh no. I’d have screamed and screamed and screamed until they could hear me, er, somewhere over the pond which indicates a very loud scream.

Yes, disclaimer, I’m a little tipsy writing this one.

It’s all gong a bit mental hasn’t it. I just opened the BBC news app because I’d not had / possibly missed the latest few announcements on coronavirus so wanted to see whether I’m still legally allowed to leave my home.

Wish I hadn’t.

They’re on about the £10,000 fines for disobeying the rules. It’s just gone next level but is any of it working. Like I get staying 2 metres away etc works, but are the tactics on implementing these rules working?

Anyway.

Forth beer now and I’m happy.

Since writing this, the past week has seen further restrictions and now at work we are all in visors. If you told me this time last year I’d be going to work dressed as if I’m about to operate I’d have laughed in ya face! But it’s happening.

A N Y W A Y. . .

I’m writing this partly because I was on a roll while half cut, partly because I find myself kinda funny, partly as a diary. Like a wartime diary, but not. Far from it.

Just gotta keep on keeping on, eating loads and drinking plenty. Christmas all year round. Everyday. We’ve sung about it for years!

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. You can also find published work in my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is available on Amazon along with the sequel Don’t Tell Jack. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey, then please subscribe to my newsletter by dropping your name and email. There will be plenty of giveaways, news hot off the press and an honest insight into life as an author. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations Writing

Where’s my 2020 diary?

2020. What even is a diary by this stage?….

I’m a sucker for a page to day diary and, under normal circumstances, would use one all the time. Every task I intend to complete each week is noted down on the day I will complete it. It helps me remain focussed and disciplined with my writing and I highlight my social life to ensure that I still have one.

This year it’s gone out the window.

No really. It possibly could have because I don’t know where it is!

The other morning I phoned the doctors for the first time in forever and booked an appointment. I’m very lucky, I know. Anyway. Although the surgery had sent me a text reminder, I felt the urge to write it in my diary as well.

My diary was nowhere to be seen. It was at this point when I realised I’d stopped bothering to use my diary months ago, I didn’t even know where it was?!

While I strive to continue balancing work and writing, I’ve given in to the fact that this year is like no other and some days I find it quite tough. Work has suddenly picked up again and at the end of last week I didn’t need to look at takings to see how busy we were, I could physically feel it in my aching eyes and wobbling legs. Everything is getting on top of us all again. It’s mental.

This weekend I have plans other than work but I’ve decided to wing it. Who needs a diary? If I put anything big in it’ll probably get cancelled anyway. More friends were meant to get married this month – cancelled.

It gets boring and so depressing for those most effected. Then I think, it’s one year. Whether it’ll be over any time soon is another matter altogether but in the grand scheme of life, it’s not a very long time.

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. You can also find published work in my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is available on Amazon along with the sequel Don’t Tell Jack. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey, then please subscribe to my newsletter by dropping your name and email. There will be plenty of giveaways, news hot off the press and an honest insight into life as an author. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

2020, I took a DAY OFF

It’s Monday. Monday 7th September 2020 and I am enjoying the first day off I’ve had all year. I am bloody loving it. I’m sat here at 2:10pm with a chilled glass of white wine, sat on a recliner and feeling happy from the inside out.

It wasn’t until I heard a specialist discussing on BBC Breakfast the importance of a day off. It could only be a single day but it does the world of good. She was saying how so many front line workers; nurses, doctors etc – haven’t taken their holiday entitlement due to having no choice or having nowhere to go. It’s dangerous. Physically and mentally it is dangerous and I don’t think I realised this until now.

I knew how beneficial this day was going to be as I left on Saturday afternoon for the Suffolk coast. When I was discussing with my boss when I would return, I felt an urge push me from within against coming back to work Monday lunchtime. A full day is what I needed. A full day when I should have been working.

Of course, each week I have Sunday’s. They are the BEST. I read, listen to podcast, visit friends, drink plenty, write, do chores that I’ve missed during the week. It’s too much. I need longer to fit it all in. There is also a completely different mindset to having a day off when the rest of the world is working. I feel that brilliant feeling that I always feel when I’m at the beach, my happiest place, but I feel it amplified because I should be at work.

I should be at work, but I’m not.

I should be at work, but I’m drinking wine at 2pm.

I should be at work, but instead I’m buying toys for my dog which he loves.

I should be at work, but I’m having a McDonald’s breakfast (and only just made it in time).

I should be at work, but it started raining so I went back to bed.

I should be at work, but I finished my book.

I should be at work, but I didn’t put a bra on (and went out in public MULTIPLE times). No cares.

…It is now Friday and I am still feeling the benefits of having that extra day to myself. More time to do nothing. Seriously, if you’ve worked tirelessly this year and haven’t taken any time out, consider it. A day is sometimes all you need to recuperate and get right back to it again.

It’s 2020 and I took a day off.

For links to all of my writing related stuff, my link tree is below. You can also find published work in my portfolio. My debut novel, Dear Brannagh, is available on Amazon along with the sequel Don’t Tell Jack. If you enjoy what you’re seeing here and are interested in following me on my writing journey, then please subscribe to my newsletter by dropping your name and email. There will be plenty of giveaways, news hot off the press and an honest insight into life as an author. Thank you x

linktr.ee/HJMWriting

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

If I had a tail to wag…

Seem a strange concept? Here me out.

If you are a regular reader, you will now be aware, I am trying SO HARD to cling onto the positives during this pandemic. SO HARD. The other day after another busy day at work I was sipping on a beer and trying desperately to stay awake past 8pm.

One thing I noticed which made me smile and gave me a boost of energy was how happy the four little dogs were in the living room that I was in. I mean, they literally wag their tails for anything, ANYTHING. I think humans need to be more this way inclined.

Their owners come home after five minutes of being out – they wag. Dinner time – they wag. Being surrounded by lots of people – they wag out of control. Treat time – they wag. Walkies?! The wagging is something else. When you think about it all these reasons for being so happy are very simple. They are all things us humans take for granted.

It made me think if I had a tail, when would I wag? I think it would be more often than I would initially expect. I think myself, and probably many others out there, take more for granted than we realise and need to simply be happier, for more reasons, simpler reasons. Especially now.

All of my blog posts can be found at https://www.harrietmills.co.uk/ and to read my published work visit my portfolio.

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

Some things I’ve learnt in the pandemic…

This year is so strange, isn’t it? When it all began I was so sure it’d be over by now. Instead, I’m chilling with my dog, listening to it all over the news and not allowed into my bedroom because my sister is working from home. This virtual existence is odd. A new job and she’s hardly met any of her colleagues…so so odd.

Trying my best to cling tightly onto the good bits, here are some lessons I’ve learnt during the pandemic.

1. How to complain

And I’m getting so good at it. Back when things were normal I was the worlds worst at complaints. I would cower and crumble within seconds and then retract my complaint and allow companies to walk all over me.

Fast forward to the ‘new normal’ and I’m shit hot at complaining. Everyone just blames COVID-19 and while I sympathise to a certain extent, there HAS to be a line. Poor service is poor service and I’m rocking the complaints!

2. How lucky I am

This is always a good thing to remember but this pandemic has highlighted it hugely for me. My life has been busy, work takes over my days and my dreams at night, I’m tired, haven’t done much at all and don’t wish to for fear I’d have to self isolate for 2 weeks which just isn’t feasible. However walking home the other day from an hour at my friends drinking wine and watching the dogs play, i just reminded myself of how truly lucky I am. It was raining. Pouring. But still I felt so so lucky.

3. I’m a sucker for sales

Let’s face it, I’m not spending money on anything else. I was the first to blow £50 with ease at the pub on my way home from another expense. This has stopped. At the beginning I was frequently bulk buying wine. This is still the case but I’m finding myself receiving parcels in the post and then a light switch goes off in my head and I vaguely remember ordering another thing I don’t need online (blame the wine).

4. Healthy life style living in countryside

I have 100% gained COVID pounds and the scales are becoming less liked daily. I don’t get it. At Christmas each year I work stupid hours at a rate of knots, still drink gallons of alcohol and always, ALWAYS lose half a stone or more. This year is different.

In attempt to help the situation I’m doing little things in walking a longer way to work to get the steps in, always making sure I exercise more on my day off and trying to (mostly) eat better. While I’m still drinking too much wine which is something I’m not yet ready to sacrifice, I do feel healthier for these tiny efforts. Each time I walk I feel thankful for the health benefits of living in the countryside and I take in that extra clean country air.

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations Writing

Less time, more grateful

There’s no doubt about it, this year has denied us all of time. I’m currently watching the news and feel it is never ending. France now on the quarantine list. The Netherlands. We’ve got to grip onto any positivity.

As lock down eases, I am certainly feeling more and more grateful for the time I have.

For about three months my life was like groundhog day. It still is to a certain extent, but I am now able to do a lot more (and not feel guilty about leaving the house) on my days off. Or should I say day and a half. Well, now we are opening longer on Saturdays it really is one day.

While I get tired and stressed about where I can fit in any writing, I am quickly realising that any free time I have is precious and I am constantly learning how to spend it better. I won’t feel guilty if my entire two hour break is spent with my nose in my book. Sometimes I manage to read, listen to a podcast and write a few words of my next book. On those days I am winning but sometimes one thing is enough and I will just relax and read. I even watched a glimpse of daytime TV the other day. No guilt.

On Sunday, while loving life and deeply appreciating time to myself and away from work, I still found myself fighting against a ticking clock. How? I had one plan to meet friends at 4pm. 4pm. I had hours to fill.

A deep sleep and a bit of reading in the early morning led to a speedy shower and rushing all the morning routine before leaving the house. Tesco time was limited as I had also planned a walk in the arvo. Lunch was deliciously fast and my beer was interrupted by being needed elsewhere. The walk was speedy (it was bloody hot) but lovely and drinks went on all night.

My night ended with the words “Harriet, you’ve got to be up in 5 hours!!!!” and onto the week ahead, speedy gonzales.

It is so true that this life is too fast paced and we cram so much in. It is also true that knowing we have less time leads to being more grateful, so grateful for the time that we have.

🙂

H x

All of my blog posts can be found at https://www.harrietmills.co.uk/ and to read my published work visit my portfolio.

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations Stories

Week Review – I’m excited to walk again

If anyone read my snippet from last week or knows me personally, you’ll know all about burn-gate and the story of how I managed to get myself a second degree burn. All medical folk I spoke to or showed said I should’ve gone straight to A&E. It was BAD.

Fast forward a week and I am (almost) back to normal and feeling very lucky/ proud of my body for recovering so well. And grateful to my nurse friends for fixing me!

Due to burn-gate, life temporarily stopped towards the end of last week. The heat didn’t help. By Saturday morning I was physically at work. I was physically there but unable to do a great deal due to hardly being able to walk. My pain was all that was on my mind. That and how on earth I managed to spill a boiling coffee over my lap????!!!!!

The weekends plans were pretty much non-existent. I lay there feeling very sorry for myself. When my siblings were heading off on a walk I so wanted to join them! My friend had assessed my wound and was very happy with how it was healing, but advised very strongly against going for the walk. I had to take her advice, if a nurse tells you not to, then don’t. Especially knowing the pain of the previous day.

So I stayed home, sulked and drank beer. But my gosh am I glad I did because as of yesterday I removed the dressing and now burn-gate is almost closed!

I’m so excited to walk again this weekend.

All of my blog posts can be found at https://www.harrietmills.co.uk/ and to read my published work visit my portfolio.

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations

The lock down splurge…

I am sitting here in a sorry state. Addicted to my Fitbit, yet eating cake for breakfast. Enjoying a cuppa, yet moving cautiously due to a bad burn from a cuppa. A draining bank account from lock down spending.

Has anyone else splurged more than usual lately? I don’t know what’s got into me.

The other day I came home from work for a few hours and spent more than my weekly earnings in five minutes. I didn’t even plan it. It just happened.

It started with the Fitbit. My sister and I went on a long walk over the weekend and she had been given a Fitbit for her birthday. Her constant evaluation of how many steps we’d done and the number of calories burnt made me consider getting myself one. A week later and I’m hooked. I compete each night with my own sleep score, I walk the longer way to work to get my steps up and I log all my food, even the bad bits.

The next purchase was, again, not very essential. An Iphone. The New SE – a bargain. And one that I didn’t need.

A further splurge came in the form of face creams and moisturising products after a conversation with a nurse which led to a conversation with a beauty rep selling moituriser.

Oh, go on then, I’ll tell you the story…

Sunday morning. At my happy place. Glorious sunshine. Just about to enjoy my first coffee of the day before a relaxed morning. I was on a sun lounger. BIG MISTAKE. My sister passed me the boiling coffee and I swiftly spilled the lot over my lap. OUCH. She even asked if I wanted some cold in it!!!! The blisters grew, the wound worsened and after medical attention from two brilliant nurse friends I now know I’m very lucky that it didn’t get infected and I should’ve gone straight to A&E. Oops.

So yeah, I spent loads on creams and just this morning I was scrolling through Insta stories and now I’ve bought some sandals.

Not bad for a weeks splurge.

All of my blog posts can be found at https://www.harrietmills.co.uk/ and to read my published work visit my portfolio.

Categories
Adulthood Non-fiction Observations Writing

Thoughts and feels

For the past two days I’ve been dragging myself along, frankly pissed off about how quickly the weekend went by. Did we even have one?!

I frequently long for a week off, a long weekend or even just a day to get away from this madness…and then I watched the news. BIG mistake.

It’s all such doom and gloom, so terrifying. Despite keeping going for the duration so far, yesterday it got to me a bit.

Yet today is a new one and this morning it’s those little things that have got me going. The sunshine, an hour longer in bed, a proper shower with time to pluck my eyebrows and take time with my make up – am I on holiday?!

I have work in just over an hour but wanted to share this snippet with you. It’s hard at the moment to feel good all the time. However, there is so much to feel good about! It’s always the littlest things that make you realise this. I think so anyway.

🙂 H x

All blog posts can be found at https://www.harrietmills.co.uk/ and to read my published work visit my portfolio.